Saturday, May 09, 2009

It’s Right Now…

I was on the phone with KC this evening and he said he missed me really bad.  He’s been home all day (as usual on the weekends) except there was no Faith or kids.  So when I responded, I made the mistake of saying, “Well, honey, I miss you, but I’ve really been busy enough that I haven’t had a whole lot of moments to dwell on it.”

Now I was in the middle of dealing with the two kidlets.  It was in the middle of the bedtime routines, and everybody had something to say to me – or was doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing and needed interference (which, for the record, has happened a lot this trip), so I was mildly distracted and what I was trying to say came out wrong. 

So I did a bit of back-peddling and tried to explain what I meant, but still being mildly (okay, maybe more than mildly) distracted, I probably didn’t do a very good job. 

But right now.  The kids are asleep (well, one of them is…the other one is still being difficult), everyone is in bed (except me), and I don’t even have the internet to distract me.  Now is when I am no longer distracted.  Now I REALLY miss him. 

Here’s the thing(s).  It doesn’t feel like the weekend to me, so it just feels like he’s at work and I’m used to it just being me and the kids during the day while he’s at work.  The bedtime routine is something I generally take care of myself.  The mornings, getting up and getting the kids moving and dressed, he’s already gone to work, so I’m used to that, too….

PLUS, we’ve been on the move ever since we got here.  If I’m not trying to keep the kids entertained, or sticking them in time out for jumping on grandma’s couch (and nearly sending her into conniptions), I’ve been helping dad clean grandma’s house.  And going yard-saling with mom and the kids.  And visiting with my uncle and cousin.  And cooking dinner.  And working on the VBS poster.  And trying (in vain) to find an unsecured network that will allow me to connect.  And did I mention cleaning?  Grandma’s health keeps her from doing any cleaning, so the layers of dust and cobwebs on EVERYTHING is terrible.  The house is sparkling (okay, maybe not quite THAT clean, but we’re still working on that) now.  So yeah, we’ve stayed busy.  There hasn’t been a whole lot of time to think about the fact that I won’t get to see KC for a whole week. 

Sheesh.  And then I went and said THAT and it punched me in the gut.  (SORRY MORGAN, DON’T THROW UP….and you’ll REALLY want to skip the next paragraph…LOL!)

Anyways, I had a point.  Oh yeah, so RIGHT NOW.  THIS is the time I spend with KC….sitting on the loveseat with our computers in our laps (boy, that sounds romantic, right?) after the kids are in bed for the night.  That’s our downtime.  And I love that time.  And then we go to bed.  I love that time, too.  Ahem.  Because he’s good to cuddle with, of course (hello, kids read this blog!)  YEAH.  Well.  Back to my point.  Now is when I REALLY miss him.  Because NOW, he should be with me.  And he’s not.  And that makes me want to cry.

Only, I’m not a crier, so we’ll hurriedly move along before I do. 

Yesterday was a REALLY long ride.  Did I mention it was LONG?  Oh yeah, I did.  Sorry…had a Grandma moment there.  LOL.  We chuckle over it, but it’s really not funny.  Bless her heart.  When we got here last night, we told her how the trip was….no less than 8 times….in the span of 20 minutes.  It’s sad.  I feel bad for her.  Dad gets impatient, and it’s totally understandable, but I try to be extra patient (yeah, I know, right? ME, PATIENT? HA)…anyways, I just can’t help but think of how bad my memory is NOW and how I’m probably going to be 10 times worse when I’m HER age, so I’m hoping that if I practice the “do unto others” thing now, that maybe it’ll come back to me when I get there…*grin*

Her longterm memory is great though.  It was funny tonight, we were eating supper, and dad asked her what was the italian word for “eat.”  And then he asked her what the word was for “it’s good for you.” 

So she tells him, and she also goes into how to spell them, pronunciation, etc, and she NEVER speaks Italian now, so it’s not like she should remember…but she does. 

FYI: (and I’m sure I’m spelling it wrong, but) Mon-ja, bueno pearte is “Eat, it’s good for you.” in Italian. 

Oh and next time KC asks what’s for desert, I’m gonna tell him we’re having a specialty….”Neinte.”  I’m sure that’s misspelled, too, but it means NOTHING.  Hah. 

Anyways, we’re having this conversation at the table and everyone is attempting to say the words that she’s telling us, and Munchkin spouts off the bueno pearte in perfect mimicry and we all bust out laughing.  Then a few minutes later we’re still in this conversation on languages, and Munchkin (who was all fascinated by the language discussion) asked Grandma (totally seriously), “Can you speak English?” 

Naturally we all were rolling.  She asked, like it would be an amazing feat to accomplish, and she was dead serious.  I’m cracking up thinking about it.  I was like, honey, we’re ALL speaking English. 

It’s been a good day though.  But I’d have to say I should have rephrased what I said to KC.  The truth is, staying busy is my coping mechanism.  As long as I’m busy and occupied, I can distract myself from the torture of being away from him for the week.  Heaven help me if (God forbid) something should ever happen…I’d never stop moving again.  And that’s the truth.  And it sounds much better that the original truth.  Which was also the truth, but just not the REASON behind the truth. 

On other topics, last night, I had a little trouble with my patience.  I was tired and it was running thin (yeah, I’d only been in the car for 14 hours, driving 7 of them, and maintaining peace between the kidlets for the other 7…on top of getting up at 4:45am).  Anywho, the whole patience thing was a battle I thought I’d (with God’s help) conquered.  Then I got to thinking.  Being up here by my lonesome, the thoughts I was referring to in my last post are completely out of my mind (out of sight, out of mind, right?  And NO, it had NOTHING to do with KC…LOL), but naturally, it shouldn’t make me wonder that the devil would have to find some OTHER way to get me all fired up and upset. 

Once I thought about it that way, I felt really dumb for letting it get to me in the first place and for not realizing it to start with.  Oh well.  I could have been blond.

Speaking of being blond, when mom and I went yard saling this morning, my dad gave me directions on where to start looking.  He told me to take a left and follow that road and it would turn to Gravel and there were some nice developments down that way.  I thought when he said it, “Hum.  How odd that in a city of this size, they would still have a gravel road in the middle of town.”  Then we went off in search of yard sales and I follow that road he told me to follow, and I get to the point where I can read the road sign coming up…..and the road I’d been on…..HAD TURNED TO GRAVEL.  AS IN…Gravel Rd.  Dad told me later that it was named that because it used to be….hello.  Gravel.  HAHA.

Anyways, I’m gonna take my ditzy little self off to bed now.  Well, after I get back to that sign project.  I don’t know why it’s so hard to get that file small enough to send over email (well, when I get to an internet access point).  I got totally distracted on here.  By the way, I LOVE WINDOWS LIVE WRITER.  I can write this post, save the draft and publish next time I’m online.  *grin*  Love that!

Gotta run. 

1 comment:

  1. Your first paragraph described Hubbs and I in the past month that I've been away. I did have a few minutes in the evenings to dwell on how much I missed him, but for the most part I was way to busy to have any time to think about it.

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