Ugh.

I tried to do a Monday Messages, but I'm just not feeling it today. I typed about 5 different first lines and just scratched them all and gave up. Today was busy....unpacking, laundry, cleaning house....all from being gone for the weekend.....whew. Total catchup.

Got a little extra tutor time in this afternoon since Morgs didn't have to leave right away, I made her do an extra lesson. Hehe. Slavedriver me. She did good...we worked about 3.5 hours and got through the going over of last weeks missed problems and then did four new lessons. So that's progress.

While we were working this afternoon, I got another call from DSS. A six year old little boy. I asked for more information, and he sounds like he's coming from a very similar situation, with a lot of the same issues, that bouncer had when he first came to stay with us. While I am up to that kind of a challenge, he has some other issues that the bouncer DIDN'T have, that would make it problematic for this kid to stay with us. Nothing really serious, or anything that we wouldn't be able to deal with, I'm sure, just some problems with violence (hitting, etc) that would be an issue b/c he would have to share a room with K-man who has had the same tendencies. I really don't want any major brawls, plus, K-man's came a long way in that area, and I don't want to trigger regression there. And then the other issue is that the other boy would be a considerable amount bigger than K-man and he doesn't have any younger siblings, so I would constantly be afraid he might actually hurt K-man, and that is totally not an option. Anyways, I had to say no, b/c the kids who are here now, come first. I think we're ready for another one, but it will have to be the RIGHT one. And until we are asked to take that right one, we'll just have to keep saying no. I hate that, b/c I'd take them all if I could. But I just can't.

Anyways, that was a bit of blathering. In other news, tonight, we planted another 12 plants of monkeygrass and mulched around them down that side of the drive that we didn't get finished. I still have to go tomorrow and get another three plants to finish up that side though....but then that side will be finished and all the unsightly weed control fabric will be covered up. *grin* Wooooohooo!

And speaking of that hard work we did....it was cooler after the sun went down, but not THAT cool, so I REALLY need to go take a shower. I got on here b/c KC was in the shower but now it's almost bedtime and I still feel grubby....so I'm going to go wash the grubby off. *grin*

Later!

Full House

Tonight we've got a full house. Our friends who adopted Bouncer (they call him Little Man) have him and another girl (Shygirl) and they are going out for a delayed valentines evening, so we're keeping all the kids while they go out.

Shoo....bouncer is still bouncy. But definitely much tamer than he was when he was here. *grin* Our kids are wild with the new ones here...and K-man had a terrible day at school, so he's seriously grumpy tonight. Fun night. *Grin*

Got them watching Toy Story 2 now and things are quiet, so I think I'm gonna go back to Munchkin's room with Shygirl and work on some sewing.

Later!

Feels like Family

Something about this latest addition feels very right. I'm not going to plan on anything permanent, especially since the K-man's mom is more of a loon-e-tick than Munchkin's and that's saying a LOT. At this point, who knows what could happen or what WILL happen. For sure, there's nothing to feel sure about yet, but I do know that the family feels right, right about now. When the Little Man (previously known as bouncer, who has since calmed down a bit) was with us, we loved him to death, and would have kept him in a heart beat, but it didn't feel as "right" as this new arrangement feels. I think it's because he truly belongs with S&N. He is doing so well with them, and they are really doing a good job with him, and it just feels meant to be. N told me the other day that he is super excited about them adopting him and wants to know when he's going to get their last name. Bless his heart. He is adorable! I just hope it works out for all these guys that they'll get permanently put in the place they're meant to be in.

Speaking of the family, I have to go lay down with the Munchkin for a few minutes now. I'll be back in a bit. =) Hehehe....IF i don't fall asleep in there with her. Ha. Which is exactly what happened a couple of nights ago....or was that last night? Um. Maybe both. HA.

Be right back.

K. I'm back. Didn't fall asleep.....but then, neither did she, judging by that loud thump I just heard. LOL. Ah well. She'll fall asleep before long. *grin*

Anyways, if every night would be like tonight has been so far, I would be a pretty happy camper.....*smiles*

Last night....well, last night wasn't so fun. After supper, I got the K-man and the Munchkin their baths, lotioned them up and got the jammies on, then K-man has a runny smelly diaper again. Bless it, he's having a rough time with it. So I get that diaper changed again and then start rocking him at 7:30. Munchkin plays quietly in her room and occasionally comes out to see what we're doing, but overall, I'm very happy with her behavior. K-man is sleepy, nodding off....but fighting it. No worries, he can't fight it very long, I'm sure. 8 o'clock rolls around. Nothing has changed. 8:30. KC takes the munchkin to her room and tucks her in and lays on the bed beside her while I move in there to THAT rocker with the K-man, to see if THAT will put him to sleep. 8:45....they're out, K-man: no. Figures. Stand up, bounce around a little. No good. Go back to the big rocker.....9:30. Still awake. Now crying as long as I'm sitting down, but laughing when I get up and bounce. Not good. Why do I feel like he's laughing at me???

10:30....he's so falling asleep, but now he's resorted to crying to try to stay awake. I finally sat him down on the floor where he melted into a fit but never opened his eyes. Now I'm worried that he'll wake the Munchkin who has now been asleep for nearly 2 hours. So I pick him up and try to shush him. No good. EEEK. What do I do with this kid? He just screaming and nothing works. No drink, no holding, no bouncing, diaper's clean, nothing wrong. What's the deal. So finally I lay him on my bed where he melts down into another tantrum again b/c I sat him down, and me and KC just stand there looking at him.....this kid who has been fighting sleep for over 3 hours now. What do we do?

KC....my brilliant hubby.....in desperation, reaches beside our bed and gets this old bear that has been decorating one of the beds in our house for as long as we've been married and has spent the last two years on OUR bed during the daytime and discarded with the extra pillows every night. He takes the bear and sits it on the bed about two feet from the K-man.

KC: "Well hello, Mr. Bear, how are you today?"
Mr Bear (KC in a deep voice): "I'm good but I need somebody to hold me."
KC: "K-man, would you like to hold Mr. Bear? He needs somebody to hold him and love him."
Mr Bear (walking with the help of KC across the bed to K-man): "Can I sleep with you tonight?"
K-man opens one eye, looks up at Mr Bear and lifts up an arm and allows Mr Bear to be slipped up underneath it and then is silent and quiet.

KC and I just looked at each other.

Then I moved him down to the toddler bed next to our bed and he snuggled back around Mr. Bear and lay there contentedly until he fell asleep....maybe 10 minutes later.

Alrighty then. I have to confess, I did NOT expect KC's little charade to work at ALL. I mean, he had a couple little stuffed animals, and he's shown very little attachment to them, so I didn't really expect something like that to settle him down.

Well, anyways, tonight I got Mister Bear, collected the K-man, his water, and his new fuzzy blanket and went to the rocker. He cuddled and loved on Mister Bear for a few minutes and then in less than 15 minutes, he'd snuggled up in my arms and let me rock him sound asleep.

Fingers triple crossed that he sleeps through the night. Last night was rough on us all....me and KC are both having sinus fits and were up and down and sleeping in the recliners last night, so neither of us got much sleep. I am looking forward to hitting the hay tonight.

Speaking of hay, I went with the kidlets on a fieldtrip this morning to the apple orchard outside of town. I had no idea it was there....it was a pretty neat little trip. The kids got to taste different kinds of apples and learn about bees and honey and apples.....got to ride behind the tractor in this long trailer through the orchards and then saw how they make the cider. It was pretty neat. Although I have to say, I have a greater appreciation for the teachers of the 2-3 year old class now....*GRIN* It was a little bit crazy to take 17 two and three year old kids with only 2 teachers and 5 parents. Yowz. Maybe I'll post a few pics of that later.

For tonight? I caught up most of the laundry today, only one little load left in the dryer to fold, paid the bills, went on that field trip, tidied the house, and now blogged. My day has been successful....I shall now sleep peacefully.

Well, until one or the other of the kids wakes up screaming.

Till then......

Thanks!

Just wanted to say "thank you" for all of the support, empathy, and prayers that I have felt in the last few 'down' days. It really does mean a lot!

My friend, K, testified tonight at church about a verse that God gave her when she was battling worry over their situations.....and as a sidenote here, I don't think any of the things we're going through right now could even compare to the worry that I can only imagine she feels......but her testimony really encouraged me and especially the verse: Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. -Isaiah 26:3. And she said it like this, when our minds are on the circumstances, when our minds are on the situations we see, our mind isn't "stayed on Him" and that is why we don't have perfect peace when we look at the circumstances. In order to have "PERFECT" peace, we have to keep our minds on Christ and trust HIM to take care of the circumstances and the situations.

Thinking about that as applied to this situation that we're in with the foster care, I have realized that I was fine with the whole thing until I started looking at the situation and worrying about what we'd do if Munchkin has to leave or what will happen with the bouncer when he found out he was moving....and on it goes.....my point is, my perfect peace with the situation was gone when I started to worry, but when I put it back in God's hands, I'm okay with it again.

Now I'm not saying that I will not be devastated if Munchkin ever has to leave us. Really, she is MY baby girl (or as she's been saying lately, ME NOT BABY, me BIG GIRL!!!!) and no matter who gave birth to her, I'm so claiming her.....but it's in God's hands. The one who decides when to give life, and when to take it.....and who really has a guarantee that their kids will ever be with them past 2 or 3 or 10 or 25?? Nobody! It's totally in God's hands. And if, God forbid, my precious baby girl ever leaves me, she's still going to be in God's hands.

And there.....is "perfect peace."

"Thanks, Lord."


On a lighter note, the munchkin is talking up a storm these days. She never fails to amuse me (or otherwise move me). Even when she's not being very good.

Random things heard around the house these days......

(While sitting in time out for disobeying mom) "Mommmmyyyy not my penddddd!!!!" (for those who don't speak munchkin-ese, that last word was her word for "friend")

"Me say NO!" (accompanied by the sign language for the word "no")

"Me say uh huh!" (accompanied by the sign language for the word "yes")

"Top been gi gi gult, pawpaw!" (that was "stop being difficult, pawpaw")

"Me go to beech now? Me wait? One week? YAYYYYYYY!"

"Me hove you, Map" (this teen boy at church that she has a baby girl crush on and is constantly sitting in church poking me and saying, "where map at? gone?" "MAPPP!!!" "Look mommy! Mapppp!" "Map MY boy, mommy!" and.....welll.....you get the picture. It's quite amusing. Poor Map though, he turns red. Bless it. LOL.

"(Bouncer's Real Name Here), you come BACKKKKK!!!!!!!" (When he came into church tonight and she saw him.......and she squeeeeeeezed his neck!.....AWW!)

(After church tonight when bouncer didn't get in the car with us to go home) "Mommy, where bouncer?" "With Nikni and Big Daddy." "Why??" "Cuz they needed a little boy." "Nottttt meee!?" "No, you're going to stay with mommy and daddy." "Why???" Cuz we need a little munchkin! Is that okay??" "Uh HUH! Me hove you, mommy!" "Me love you, too, sweetie." "Daddy, too?" "Uh huh, daddy, too!"

(On the way home from church when we passed a smelly ol chicken farm) "TOP IT KIKENS! Mommy, KIKEN poopied! Me say TOP it kikens! Kikens TINK!!!!! "Oh good, I'm glad you told them to stop....they really are stinky!!!" (and then the rest of the way home we had to listen to her repeating over and over. "Kikens poopied. Kikens tink. Me say top it. Mommy, me say top it kikens, kikens poopied mommy? Poopied? Kikens tinky mommy? mommy? kikens gone? Mommmy? Mommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy..........................")


So anyways, today I really didn't do much besides laundry and tidying up the house a bit. I did do the last paper page that I needed to do for bouncer's album that I sent with him, and now all I have is the digital stuff to send for his album for the time that he was with us. But I really wanted to get some work done for like....my paying 40+ hour a week job and that didn't happen today. Maybe tomorrow. I also wanted to work on munchkin's scrapbook. That didn't happen either. I also wanted to.....well, you get the picture.

Instead I drew on the sidewalk with munchkin, let her help me with all the chores, (she's actually pretty handy at rinsing out dishes and handing them to me to load in the dishwasher), sat in her room and read a book while she played, fixed her lunch, let her watch me clean and fill the wading pool, sat outside and read a book while she played in the wading pool.....played with her a little bit in the wading pool, walked around aimlessly through the house thinking about how quiet it was and how I should work on my computer, went to church.......well, anyways, I stayed pretty busy......but didn't do what I really had planned. Oh well. It was fun, and the munchkin had a pretty good day.

I have notice that she whines and all that a LOT less now that she's an only child. LOL. She also gets along pretty well with herself.....hahaha. Didn't hear any of that "MOMMY, MUNCHKIN TOUCHED ME" stuff either.....hhahaha. Since Munchkin really can't NOT touch herself....ahhaha.....*Sigh* I'm a little tired.

I'm going away now.

Later!

I Wasn't Even Close To Crying

until it came right down to the last moment when they were getting ready to leave after our fun evening at the play place in the big town half an hour from home.......

and we hugged him goodbye.....and even that wasn't sooo bad.......


.....but then

Munchkin

hugged him bye and they squeezed for like a full minute and then

she said (ever so sweetly and sadly)

"me hove you (his name here -- spoken in kid-ese)!"

and kissed his cheek and then she came and grabbed my legs and was holding me for dear life.

And I really don't know whether or not she realizes that he's gone for good. Maybe she does.

Awww. Mercy. And all of us adults just kind of looked at each other.

And the house is SOO incredibly quiet. Even with the munchkin whining around and talking and everything like usual, it felt like we'd gotten back home from a funeral or something and it was a dreadfully somber mood. After they left, I walked through the house and listened. It's just not the same. I am so happy for him and I was certainly ready for a breather....and for him to get to go with his "forever family," but internets? I'm having trouble seeing the screen right about now.

It will all be okay. I am sure I will get over this feeling very quickly. And then I'll get back to enjoying the peace and quiet and lack of bickering around the house. And I'm truly thankful that our situation of a foster child moving on has been one of a pleasant, amiable kind and that I can be confident that he is in the best place for him. Because I can only imagine how hard it will be when/if the time ever comes that one of these goodbyes is NOT said with such confidence. Be it munchkin or anybody else who we may have the honor of having in our home for an extended period of time, I am sure that it will be ten times more difficult. Or more.

But for tonight?

I'm pretty close to crying.

I'm going to stop blogging about it though, b/c I don't feel like crying until I start writing it down.....then all the feelings come out. It's much more comfortable if I keep all those feelings bottled up inside.

I'm going to go put a cork in that bottle now.

Or maybe I'll let that cork pop out and the contents of my bottle explode on my hubby's shoulders.

They're so good for that sort of thing.

Later.

Better Than Expected.....

I don't think we could have asked for him to take the news that he's leaving us any better than that. He was a little disappointed that he was having to leave at first, but after the SW told him that Nik-ni and Big Daddy would be his "forever family" and not only that, but they were good friends with us, so he'd still get to see us alot and it wouldn't be like he'd never see us or Munchkin again, he was super excited and even wanted to know if he could go tonight. I'm not sure if he was just acting like he thought we all wanted him to act and hiding his true feelings or not, b/c later KC asked him how he was feeling about it and he said he was sad that he was leaving and he seemed a little down, so we talked about it over supper.

Supper was his favorite (his choice for tonight since this is is last night) S'getti and meatballs and garlic toast. While we were eating, we talked to him about the move tomorrow night. He wanted to know why we didn't adopt him if he was available for adoption, and we said it wasn't because we didn't want him, it was because a lot of people wanted him and Nik-ni and Big Daddy were first in line. We also reassured him that he was not leaving our house b/c he had done anything wrong or because he was too wild or that we couldn't handle his behaviour, he was leaving b/c his new home with Nik-ni and Big Daddy was going to be a really good move for him, that they love him very much already and want him to be their forever son, and he will get to be the only child there (at least for awhile until they all decide to add more to their family) and they can help him with his school and all that. He seemed very relieved after that conversation and went back to being excited about it.

Then after that, KC laid on the floor beside him and watched a movie with him and we gave him a silkie spiderman blanket that "Mawmaw" sewed for him to remember all of us by. Then, while they were doing that, I fixed them some cookies and milk (a special treat around our house cuz I have to be in the right mood to want to spend my evening baking cookies) and worked on packing up his things.

Dude. He's got a lot of stuff. I knew he had more stuff going out than he did coming in, but I really didn't realize how MUCH more stuff. I filled two duffel bags, he's got a gargantuan tote of toys, a gi-normous birthday gift bag full of stuffed animals and toys that wouldn't fit in the huge tote, a backpack and a lunchbag full of odds and ends, a pile of toys and things that wouldn't fit in any of the bags, a gift bag full of shoes, a gift bag full of books, a sack with a sleeping bag in it, a sack of winter clothes that he came with that I didn't even mess with, just tossed it up in the closet.

As I was finishing the last few things of his packing, he came in the room with KC to start getting ready for bed and was like, hey what are you doing!?! I was like, getting your stuff together so you'll be ready to go tomorrow. And he got all down again. He said he didn't like change and he was so pitiful. I was like, I know, buddy, I don't like change either and sometimes even good changes are hard to adjust to, but it will be okay.

Man alive. I wasn't feeling like, all emotional or anything while I was packing his stuff, even though it did feel odd, but now that it's all packed and I've sat down to think about it, I'm having a bit of a hard time. He's only been here for two months and amazingly enough, I am actually going to miss the little bugger. He really is a good kid.

And this is the hardest part, not that he's leaving b/c I am 100% comfortable with where he is going and know that I'll get to see him lots and it's going to be great for him.....the hardest part is that packing him up makes me think about what I'm going to do if I have to pack up the munchkin b/c I won't know where she's going and I won't get to see her anymore and she's my baby girl. The thoughts of that just make me want to sit down and hold my head and just bawl my eyes out.

Ugh. I'm getting a lump in my throat now.

*swallowing hard*

So the good.....or not.....news on her situation is that the biological child-bearing unit did not show up for visit on Monday, but they didn't go get munchkin b/c BCU didn't call, so at least the munchkin wasn't disturbed. Oh, and they still haven't heard anything from her to know where she was at......and why she missed......and then too, apparently, she didn't show up for her "illegal substance abuse" class on Tuesday either......

Interesting.

Oh yeah, before I forget......bouncer wanted to pray for our food tonight at supper......
I don't remember his prayer word for word, but it included this:
"thank you God for my new mom and my new dad and my forever family and thank you for my dad and mom----i mean KC and Faith....and my foster family......"

Um. I think I'm actually going to cry over this.

I'm goin now.
Later.
*trying to swallow past the lump in my throat*

Breathless

No really. I mean like I'm having problems getting all the necessary air to breathe. It's been bothering me since this afternoon. Weird. I almost didn't go to church tonight b/c it was bothering me but I'm glad I did now. I needed to hear tonight's message.....I think I'll be chewing on that for quite awhile. It was good.

Other stuff going on.....I've been trying to get the bouncer's lifebook (for the part of his life that he's been here) caught up. It's a work in progress, but I'm getting there. I'm going to take half a day tomorrow b/c I have to pick up some groceries and I need to tidy up the house a bit so the social worker who is supposed to visit tomorrow evening won't think we're slobs. Maybe I'll get everything tidied up early and get to finish the pages I've been working on.

I'm kinda worried about tomorrow night. The social worker is going to talk to the bouncer about his move to the new foster and hopefully adoptive home and I'm just so afraid that he won't take it well. He has been fine with the family that is going to be keeping him after Friday but whenever we try to mention (in a round-about way) anything about him ever leaving us, he gets very upset and tells us he doesn't want to go. I am almost positive that this has been the first really "stable" and "steady" environment he's had, and I have a feeling that he is afraid to leave it b/c he isn't sure what the next place will be like, in which case, once he is there for a little while and maybe even just once he realizes that they are going to try to adopt him and that he is going to have a permanent, steady, and stable home environment with a family who will love him to death--forever, that he will be just fine and not miss us at all. I have mixed feelings about him leaving, and about him missing us. On the one hand, I'm ready to get a break and then again I'm going to miss him like crazy.....and then on the one hand, I kinda want him to miss us a little but then on the other hand, I don't want him to miss us at all b/c it will be an easier transition if he doesn't have a hard time leaving us. It's a crazy mixed up thing, but I know this is for the best. His new family is going to absolutely treat him like a treasure and I think once he realizes that, that he will be in seventh heaven. I feel sure that this is the right thing for him and them, I'm just afraid of the journey.....I guess I have a hard time with change. But I would rather that WE be the ones that have a hard time with it and not him, for his sake. And if it's anything like it was when he left his last foster home and came with us, he barely even mentioned them at all and totally was unconcerned about leaving them....just super excited to come with us. So hopefully it will be like that again.

As for the other one in our house......well......nothing really new on her end. I heard during prayers last night that "Tiny" isn't her friend anymore and "Ta-De" is now her friend b/c "Tiny" squeezed her face and then munchkin headbutted her back and got put in time out so now they're enemies. And then after school today, the bouncer was telling me the same thing about how "Tiny" was getting revenge this morning for the headbutting incident and pushed munchkin's head into a pole and then SHE got time out. LOL. Can't help but laugh. I thought to myself.....isn't she kinda young for this exclusive friend thing to be rotating to new people over stupid little things? Heaven help us when they get old enough to fight over boys. Haha. Other than all that, she's doing fairly well.

I'm really rather tired and my nose is running like a faucet. I'm wondering if maybe the breathing problems and nose dripping thing might be connected. Allergies possibly? I'm on meds for allergies, but maybe it's just getting really thick out there and the meds aren't cutting it all the way. Hm.

I'm going to bed now in hopes that when I wake up......I will be able to breathe normally again. Ya don't know how much you appreciate air until it's not all there. *sigh*

Later.

Lazy Sunday.....NOTTTTT!!!!

What is that like? I've so totally forgotten!!! LOL. From time to time, I am struck with the selfish desire to have one of those again, but then reality hits and I realize it's not all that bad, and I really can't complain. I do get plenty of breaks....

Like when mawmaw and pawpaw take the munchkin and wear her out so that on Sunday when she takes a nap, she sleeps for over 2.5 hours and even then, I have to go wake her up and get her moving (usually she wakes up on her own around 1.5-2 hours) and then she was in bed and very close to asleep by 8:45. Like I said, I really can't complain.

Munchkin just keeps cracking me up with her prayers. She did another one tonight like the other night. I just chuckled inwardly. If we ever get a video camera, that's one of the first moments I want to capture. Without her knowing, of course. LOL. Oh and she got one of those little bedtime prayer bears from mawmaw this weekend and she is in love with that thing. She keeps carrying it around mashing the button so it prays and then looks up at me with this look of total awe on her face and says, "mommy! bear say amen!!!!!" And then she'll mash it again and when it gets to the end, she'll say amen with it. Over and over! It just cracks me up (and then after awhile, it kinda gets on my nerves....hearing the bear saying the same thing over and over, that is....hahah). She's definitely into the praying thing!

Not a whole lot else going on.....the munchkin had an intense screaming tantrum at church this morning. I just let her scream and cry it all out. While holding her and keeping her from hurting herself or me. Yeah, it was one of those kind of fits. Ugh. And it started with her sticking her tongue out at me in a gesture of complete defiance. She's started doing that a LOT lately. I'm not sure where it came from, although I'm guessing it probably came from daycare, but I do know I'm not going to put up with it. I explained to her at a different time than when she was in her fit (b/c there is simply no reasoning with her during those times) that sticking your tongue out when you're mad at someone is not an appropriate behavior and that it was very rude and anytime she did it, it would result in time out or losing privileges or other consequence and she seemed to understand and was okay with it. She hasn't done it since our talk, but then again, there hasn't been any circumstances since then where I've had to let her know that she cannot have her way in a situation. So.....we'll see what happens.

I know one thing....I'm certainly ready for our beach vacation. Have the housesitters lined up and they will take care of the pets and we're looking for the best deal possible on an oceanfront (or very close to) beach house in our favorite beach town. The bouncer will be moving to his new foster home by the end of this week if all goes as planned, so it will just be us and the munchkin and I think that will be plenty to handle. Vacation week cannot come soon enough for me!!!

Well, early morning tomorrow, so I'm gonna head off here now.....

Later!

Misc. Junk and a birthday!!!!

Whoa. But I'm TI-RED. Way.

So I took off Friday to return the bouncer boy to the doctor. This time it was just me and him....and I got down there with NO problems....actually arrived like an hour and 10 minutes EARLY. I was determined not to miss that stinkin overpaid doctor dude again. Anyways, after all that, we still didn't get to see the doc until about half an hour PAST our original appointment time. Are you keeping track? yeah, that means me and bouncer boy sat and waited on this "doctor who keeps a "TIGHT" schedule for more than an hour and a half. Nice, huh? I almost said something but I didn't want to take it out on the nurse...that plus the fact that I had taken along plenty of reading material, so it wasn't like I was bored out of my mind. Now the boy on the other hand.....ROFL. Oh well. If they have to replace a few objects in their office....ya know, maybe they'll think twice about making energetic young kids wait that long. Bwaahaha....nah, don't worry. We left it all in one piece....not too much debris in our wake.

Speaking of wake....A-wake.....i was having one DIFFICULT time driving down there Friday morning. The kiddo was watching a movie and quiet as a mouse, so I was left to talk to myself. I'm sure it was pretty funny to hear me giving myself a pep talk
"sleepy plus five lanes of traffic is not good, honey.....girl, you need some coffee.....think about something you gotta do later....come on, wake up, lady! You are responsible and you will wake up. Come on!!!! You can do this. Just open your eyes. No, really. Whoa lady, that was close. There's too much traffic for you to be like this. Just wake up already. Okay. Let's see, what are the projects you need to work on tonight. Uh.....did you forget anything when you rushed out of the house this morning?"

And it's not a smart idea to run over those little wake up things on the sides of the lanes either.....they kinda distract kids from the movie they're watching. And this kid, who can't remember diddly squat about anything else, remembers that mom did this twice when recounting the trip to dad later. Go figure. Anyways, really, I wasn't dangerous or anything although I was sleepy, I went over the sleep lines cuz I was...um....well, I don't remember exactly why I did but I know I was awake. At least I think I was. AnywAYS. Don't shoot me mom....

Remember, it was kinda like sleep-thirty in the morning when we had to get on the road. And the sun was coming up right in my eyes and I had no sunglasses, so that kinda made things worse....oh well. I made it. We made it. One piece and no worries.

Oh and by the way, the diagnosis? Doc asks kiddo a few questions, gives him a few commands, writes down a couple of things, looks back through his file and then asks me a few questions, most of which I have no answer for, since we were given little details. Then he tells me that he has no idea why DSS was so insistent that bouncer be referred to him for testing since there are no blood tests that they can run to tell for sure. Not only that, but the diagnosis of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is made strictly by observations and sure, he has a "few" of the symptoms of it and given his background history, it could certainly be a possibility, but also considering his background, his symptoms could very well be just a result of his awful upbringing and nothing FAS related at all. And even if he DID have FAS, there is nothing they can give him or any treatment that could be done to resolve the issue other than therapy and medicines to control his behaviours that he is getting now. So it was nice meeting you and have a great day.

Then he leaves the room and I follow him out, somewhat stunned, and he tells the nurse at the desk to get him a sticker and disappears into his next patient's room.

Well alrighty then.

So make that TWO fruitless trips to the big city two hours from home. *sigh*

Anyways, I took my time coming back and b/c the bouncer was being so incredibly good and well-behaved (I'm serious, no kidding at all here...I was totally amazed) I told him that if he didn't want to go back to school, that he could stay with me the rest of the day. Of course, he jumped on THAT idea. So we stopped at a thrift store and browsed for a little while and then went to mickey-d's and I let him play in the play place for awhile before we headed back.

Oh yeah and I *MUST* insert here that when we stopped at the thrift store, I parallel parked our SUV, ya'll! I mean like the textbook parallel park which I have never EVER done in the almost 10 years I have been driving since we were not required to do it in drivers ed nor in the license exam. I always just pull in if there are more than one spaces open if I *have* to park in a parking like that. But Friday....I pulled forward, and backed my SUV into a parking spot that had a car on each end of it and a brick wall at the back. And I didn't hit anything and I didn't have to readjust at all. I just backed in and then pulled forward just a little bit to center in the spot. Can you tell I was extremely proud of this feat? Yes. I MOST certainly was. AND, I was in the big city with lots of traffic and other cars around. WOHOOOHOO. *doin the victory dance here*

To be continued.....KC is wanting to go outside and look at the stars for a few minutes and I don't know when I'm gonna get back so I'm gonna go ahead and hit post. Kinda romantic don't ya think? LOL.

Later.

Kay....I'm back. That was extremely short lived.....it's overcast tonight and no stars. Bummer. Oh well, it's the thought that counts, honey!!!!

And speaking of honey, a munchkin funny tonight.....she was finishing her late supper when I hollered into the other room to see if KC had bouncer ready for bed and out of the bathroom yet:

"Hey, HONEY?" {no answer}

"HONNNNEEEEEEYYYYYY??? {long pause and no answer from "honey" while I look at her dumbfounded and she thinks for a minute--then) DADDDY??????? HEY DADDY?????? DADDDY!!!!!"

"Nevermind, munchkin.....we'll just go see if he's done, okay?"

LOL!

Anyways, we think this is going to be our last weekend with the bouncer as we heard Friday that he may be moving into his hopefully-adoptive home this coming week. I'm kinda happy and kinda sad. This weekend has been awesome with him since munchkin has been at the grandparents last night and today. He doesn't know anything yet and I'm not sure when DSS wants us to talk to him about it. We have tried to do some fun things with him since this is our last weekend with him....today we went up to the grandparents to pick up munchkin and let both of them play in the creek for a few hours before we came home. Actually, all six of us played in the creek for a few hours before we came home. LOL. But I was threatened with the beating of my life if I posted anymore pictures of one of those six people on here. Haha! Anyways, I will try to post a couple of pictures on the private blog, but no promises since I'm really tired. Just for fun though, here are a few pictures I took while playing around with the camera. Everyone got tired of me snapping pictures of them, so I started taking pictures of myself. LOL. Got some funny ones....haha.

Before I got desperate enough to take pictures of myself, I took pictures of all kinds of weird angles of the pots and things on KC's mom's porch while the kids were playing. I got a lot of the kids, too, but none I can post on here.....as usual!

Anyways, I kinda liked some of the pot ones.....reminds me of some kind of print or something. Or maybe I just have weird taste. Oh well....

Would you believe that these pots are the same pot just different angles and more curve applied in CS2? Yeah, you probably would. I think I'm probably the only person who is actually impressed by stuff like that. Haha. Back to my previous statement of me probably being weird. Yep. Probably.

Aw, weird me. Wanta know something else? I caught a minnow and a little crawfish when we were all playing in the creek today. And not only that, but I let the little crawfish crawl up on my finger and I wasn't like all "girly" about it and didn't get the heebiejeebies over it. Way to go, me! LOL. Like I said. Weird.

It's really gonna show tonight cuz I'm tired and having a hard time censoring the weirdness out. Hahah.

Okay. So one last thing before I go.........

To one of my favorite (okay THE favorite, but don't tell anyone! HAHA!!!)....co-worker.......(that isn't related to me of course....hahahah)

Happy BIRTH-day, dear WAL-lyyyyyyy......HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIRTHDAYYYYY TOOOOO YOUUUUUUU! I know you're probably way deep in sleepland about now since you've got some long workdays ahead but just wanted to take a minute and wish you happy birthday. I was going to do a card for you but unexpectedly had to be out on Friday. =( I'm sorry. I hope your birthday is wonderful even if you do have to work. I'll miss you while you're gone next week....don't have too much fun in cinnnceeenatti! =)

And now.....this is me.....signing out.....

Later,

Always.Faith.......

Stinky day.

The following is a letter I sent to DSS tonight after our pretty rotten day. {} these little things refer to proper names that I used in the actual letter, but removed for privacy's sake in order to post it here. This pretty much sums up a lot of the rotten-ness of today:

Dear {DSS}

I need somebody to call me first thing tomorrow morning regarding {bouncer}'s appointment in {big city located two hours from our town} today at the specialist for the testing that he was supposed to have. There has apparently been some mixup in communications. Today was pretty much a total failure of a trip.

I got to {big city located two hours from our town} with him at 2:55 for his appointment at 3pm today, and the directions I had gotten off the internet were ROYALLY wrong and we got lost in {big city located two hours from our town} for 20 minutes before we were able to finally find the place. Then when we got in there, they came out and told us that the doctor had already left for the day b/c he was on a tight schedule and only waited 15 minutes past the appointment time and then went on to his hospital rounds and would not be back. So they told me to go ahead and reschedule. When I'm making a new appointment, they ask me if I got the "packet" for his visit and I say no, so they hand me a form and ask me if there are any changes....

To make a long story short, I had to explain to them that I was his foster mother. All their paperwork of the information they received from {his local doctor's office that referred him to the specialist} had his bio mother and some {midsized city located a half hour from our town} address (to which all the paperwork, that I "supposedly" was to receive, was mailed). THEN they told me that had the doctor BEEN there, they still would not have seen him because someone from DSS has to be with me there in order for anything to happen since he is in DSS custody. I'm sure that {our social worker} did not know that, and I'm also sure that I didn't know that either.

Anyways, they had a cancellation for 9am on Friday morning and I told them to put us in that. I will arrange to take off again on Friday to take him, but a woman from DSS will need to go with me and {bouncer} (or else someone needs to work it out so that the proper authorization will be there and we will be able to see the doctor the next time we go).

Please call me ASAP to make arrangements so that we will know how to proceed.

Thanks,
Faith

Now why in the world they did not have updated information at the doctor's office that referred him is beyond me.....since he has seen that doctor AFTER he's been in DSS custody and obviously he was not with his bio childbearing unit at that time, so why didn't they update the file? It sure would have been helpful to have had that packet of information....including accurate directions.

On the bright side, maybe there was a reason we got lost.....maybe if his bio childbearing unit got that packet of information, she might have known about the appointment and arranged to be there at three and then thought we weren't going to show and left....???? Hum. It's a thought. I'd like to think there was at least ONE good reason for the way things happened. LOL.

Anyways, rest of the day? Ugh.

Poor Nikni, who went with me (and thank God she did or I'd have still been trying to navigate the streets of Charlotte while fielding the bouncer's thousand and one questions and holding a map and trying to avoid becoming car pancake in all that traffic and all the u-turns that I had to commit while trying to find the place), anyways, she was sick (bless her heart) right in the mcdonalds drive through when I stopped to grab some lunch and I was late and couldn't take her back home before the appointment.

I have had a sore throat all day.

We both had a headache by the time we got back. (and she had one when we started although it went away after she threw up).

The bouncer's meds wore off around 4-ish and for anyone who's calculating, that was around 5+ hours we were in the car altogether so he was getting restless anyways......

Stopped for supper after we had stopped at the craft stores in the midsized city on the way back (to make the trip feel a little less pointless of course) and had to wait forever for our food while the two little chicklets in the drive through sat there and talked while they S L O W L Y worked on getting the orders put in the bag. Hello! Made us late getting back to church. Of course that was the reason, not that we stopped at the craft stores....naturally. LOL. Anyways, after all that, we deserved a little sidetrip by those lovely little oasis's.....is that correct grammar? Awww who cares.

After a day like today? NOT ME.

A few good things did come of my day off though.....
Got the bouncer registered for school.
Got almost 4 loads of laundry done....WHOOOOHOOOO.....
Got all the sheets on the bed cleaned and made up. DOUBLE WHOOHOO!
Tidied up the house.
Filled the prescription meds that I have a hard time filling b/c my pharmacy and my job are in way different places and if I change pharmacies to closer where I work, I will have a hard time filling prescriptions when I'm sick and didn't go to work.....so instead, I have to get off work early to get up here and go by before they close for the day. Hey any excuse to get off work huh? Haha. Kidding of course.

Anyways....so it wasn't all bad, but it sure would have been nice if my throat hadn't hurt the whole time....and if my head would stop hurting now. *sigh*
Gripe gripe....I'm going to bed now!

Later!

Monday Messages #2

Dear Index Fingernail on my Right Hand,
OW! What is UP with you? I need you to work properly. Now I know it is not commonly thought that fingernails have a job to do, but this pain you are causing in my poor index finger every time I try to use an ink pen or type is really irritating. Just because a piece or two of paper might have jammed up underneath you a couple of times does not give you an excuse to cause trouble. Your job is to look pretty (another task that you seem to have lots of trouble accomplishing) and not being painful. Thank you very much. Oh and by the way, turning red and throbbing is also NOT in your job description.
Love (not),
Painfully Irritated


Dear Kid's Bedrooms,
OOOH. You are driving me crazy. Why am I so distressed over the state of disorderliness in you when it doesn't bother me that mine looks nearly that bad itself. Please explain this, I really want to know.
Love,
the adult who winces when she passes your door


Dear Private Blog,
Please excuse my lack of private thoughts lately. I find myself scarcely able to keep up with my public blog on a regular basis since bouncer came along, but I promise one of these days I'll get back to having private thoughts. *tired smile* In the meantime, please forgive me that I find it easier to just post thoughts here that probably *should* be posted on you.
Love,
too busy to think


Dear CK Convention,
I love you. You are one of the highlights of my year. You totally lifted me out of the scrapping funk I've been in for the last few months. I hope to blog very soon about the day I spent with you on Saturday. And post pictures, too....I had a lovely time. See you next year, Lord willing!
Love,
In the mood to scrapbook again


Dear hubby,
You SO rock! Man, I love you! And really, this isn't because you gave your full approval for me to leave for a full day on Saturday.....and not only that, but to spend money if I wanted (although I know I don't necessarily need your approval, it does feel good to have your blessing beforehand). On top of all that, you entertained the bouncer almost all day, and got all kinds of yardwork done, and took bouncer shopping for noisy, irritating laser guns with his birthday money....then when I got home, you weren't mad about me continuing scrapping with "Nik-ni" and topped it all off with ordering pizza for supper so I wouldn't have to cook. I am so lucky. You totally made my day! I love you honey!
Forever,
Yours


Dear people on the road to work this morning,
No, I wasn't drunk. I was sleeping. Er. Slee-PY. Not sleeping. Not exactly. And no, I wasn't having seizures when you saw me wildly throwing my arms around and jerking my shoulders....I was trying to get the blood flowing up to my eyelids so they would not keep falling shut on me. I hope I didn't scare anyone too badly. *yawn*
Love,
Sleepy


Dear munchkin,
You absolutely cracked me up last night at church. I will have to make a separate post about this very soon. However, I just wanted to let you know that "Map" is too old for you and you SO need to stop flirting with him. And watching him adoringly all service long? *LOL* And I'm sorry, but the answer to your question is, "No, I'm not going to ask 'Map' to come home with you tonight." But the really funny stuff about the ladies footwashing service afterwards I'll have to save for a new post. You are just hysterical. And I do want you to know that you made it very difficult for me to not bust out laughing in a very serious and emotional time for so many of those ladies.
Love,
Mommy


Dear "Nonna"
Munchkin loved having you keep her on Saturday. Not nearly as much as I loved you keeping her though. Also not nearly as much as I loved having a "ME" day. But that was quite a huge lot, so I think you can safely say that you were a smashing success in the munchkin's book.
Love,
Your daughter
PS If you ever find any more of those monkey puppets, I want one.... ;-)


Dear bed,
I'm so very sorry that we haven't been able to spend much time together lately. I'm especially sorry that our quality morning time has been cut so short since the kidlets came along...unfortunately they are higher on my priority list than you are. I hope you're not offended. You seem to be making it really hard for me to get out of you in the mornings lately. You've been extra comfortable and warm the last couple of days and I just want you to know that I love you and all, but could you just lay off just a bit on that? I find myself thinking about you during the day and that that's not real good, as I'm sure you can imagine. Are you doing this on purpose to pay me back for my neglect of you? Maybe you'd feel better if I would straighten up your covers in the morning before disappearing for the day?? It's not much to make up for my....I mean YOUR....suffering, but I suppose I might could take a few minutes to do that for you. Anyways, I'll try to get together with you tonight before midnight.
As always,
Your Sleep-deprived Slave---ER.....that is.....MASTER...yeah. Master.

Dear Hectic Life,
Yes. It's me again. Do you know how crazy you are making me? I am just falling apart! I find myself forced to apologize for not getting something done or missing something or forgetting dates or just letting someone down...much too often recently. Why are you doing this to me? Will you please just lay off for a little bit?? I'd like to get some things taken care of so that I won't feel constantly behind. Don't know that you care how I'm feeling, but just thought I'd let ya know. Kay? Thanks.
Love,
Still trying to catch up


Dear vacation,
Is it almost time for us to come see you yet? No? Okay. . . . . . . . . How bout now?.....still no? bummer. Okay. Well, I'll be waiting anxiously!
Love,
Desperate

All I have time for tonight.....

After the visit with mawmaw this past weekend, the munchkin discovered curly hair. So for something to do with her, we put curlers in curler girl's hair. She luved it. Sat perfectly still most of the time.....not sure how it will look when she wakes up, but she's having fun and it's just school, so no biggie if it turns into some kind of 'fro!!! LOL.

Speaking of this past weekend, we went to KC's parents on Sunday afternoon and let the kids play for awhile....and we played with them of course. Thankfully, "I" was the one with the camera, otherwise these potentially embarrassing pictures could have been of me, too! Haha!

So....
Go here if you want to see more pictures of the kids playin in the creek. Oh and just b/c I can, here are some pics of mawmaw who might just be wrapped around somebody's pinky finger.....

Check out this great view as she rescues the vitally important blue floating disc (which also doubles as the lid for one of the containers the kids were playing with.....it escaped down the stream.....and mawmaw chased it down......I have more pictures of this, but I think one will be sufficient to get me killed. Hahaha!

Cuz see....I can feel this look coming at me already!!!! BWAHAHA! Love you, dearie!!!

****EDITED TO ADD****

"You have exactly 4 hours to remove that picture of me on the photography site (the one with my mouth open - I don't care who sees my rear-end)! :-)" -mawmaw

Do you think she'll mind if it goes away a little bit at a time.....like it's now half the size it was.....??????

Anyways....she sent that at 2:02 pm.....I guess that means it will have to be completely gone by 6:02.......ya'll better look fast!!!! Hahahahah.

Love you, mom!!!!! *huge mischievous grin*

***********************

ETA (again)

Okay....and now it's just a leetle beety picture.....do you think I should just humor her and delete it? LOL!!!!

***********************

ETA (one more time.....)

Okay.....fine. It's gone now. LOL!!!! Happy, mom? *GRIN* Please don't drown me now, kay??? hahaha

**************************

Anyways, then.....
Playing with the speed of film to blur the water in the little one foot water falls.....





And another version:

Anyways, this should make up for the lack of pictures lately....maybe. And I'm sure there is plenty of other things I could talk about, but I'm super exhausted and going to bed.

Later!

Miscellaneous Monday Messages

Dear Stopped Up Toilet In My Bathroom,
You are really throwing a kink in our household life. Particularly mine. Do you have any clue how frustrating it is to have to go to my hubby's bathroom in the morning and then run into the bathroom where you are to use the shower? And thanks to you, I am much more aware of the fact that I will never make it in a one bathroom house again. Why do both kids always need to use the bathroom at exactly the same time? Like there's not 23 other hours in the day in which they could choose to need the bathroom? Anyways, you just need to swallow that draino, quit destroying plungers, and just gulp down that little wad of t.p. that is stuck somewhere in you, so that life can go back to normal. I don't get it anyways, you've taken much larger loads without so much as a twitch....get over it!

Love,
Tired of waiting in line


Dear Library Fine Fairy,
Thank you ever so much for making my day not such a "Monday" day. I am not sure how much I owed in fines that you magically whisked away, but I had four movies late and thanks to my rushed morning, I missed that skinny one on the shelf, so I still have one out in addition to all those other books that I'm sure are due..... And I know my fines had to be more than $5......so from ever so grateful me, thank you! It will make it much easier to swallow the next time I have to pay a fine and there is no fairy to wave her wand. *smiles*

Love,
Needs to be more organized


Dear Biological Child-Bearing Unit of My Beautiful Foster Daughter,
On days like today, I struggle to even honor you with the title of "mother." I dread going home today to see *my* daughter upset b/c you chose to be hateful enough not to show up or even have the courtesy to make a phone call to let DSS know so that the child who still loves you would not be left disappointed while waiting on you to show up for today's visit. I mean, it's one thing if you can't get there (although if it were my daughter I'd walk if I didn't have a ride) but there is absolutely NO excuse for not letting DSS know. It's a local call, and you can go to the neighbor's if you don't have a phone. And those drug classes? If you really want *my* munchkin back, you really should try practicing all those things you're supposedly learning in those drug classes. Maybe then you'd have enough money to get a taxi and make it to the once a week visits. And if you can't make it to see her once a week, what makes you think you're capable of taking care of her 24/7? I try to be understanding, I don't want to sound harsh, and as hard as it is, I try to *want* you to be reunited with the child to whom you gave life, but I'm sorry, I am watching your choices destroy her and that is simply inexcusable!

Sincerely,
Not biological, but *mom* in every way that counts


Dear Bouncer,
PLEASE STOP BOUNCING FOR FIVE SECONDS! PLEASE? You are bouncing all up and down on my last nerve. I love you, but you are wearing me out! How can we get through to you when you won't stop bouncing long enough to listen for five seconds?????

Love,
Mom Faith


Dear Sonic Checker-outer People,
Not that I'm complaining, but you need to be more consistent with your pricing. Some days I can get a Wacky Pack for 2.99 + 0.15 upcharge to regular drink size and other days the Wacky Pack drink size is not allowed to change from the teeny kid-size. Just like when I ordered the grilled cheese + fries + regular raspberry slushie b/c I knew from previous visits that there was not a *combo* available for that and then you asked me if I'd like that in a combo and was able to get the discount....and then the next day the grilled cheese does not come in a combo again. Why-ever not? Anyways, you need to get that straight. But I'm not complaining b/c except for the drink, the kids meal is just as big as the adult size plus I get a cool toy for my kids and *sometimes* even a regular drink and it's a whole 1.50 less than the adult size.

Love,
slurping my regular size slushie now


Dear Hectic Life,
Do you think that you will ever be able to give me a break before I am dead? B/c if you don't slow up a bit, you are going to kill me young. And by the way, you just caused me to use two words (kill and dead) that are making my blog rating PG instead of G. Thanks alot. Like you're not already causing me enough headache!

Love,
Trying to get out of the fast lane

Woooohooooo

Doing the victory dance.....yippety yi yayyyyy!

The munchkin is out of my hair, the bouncer fell asleep like an hour early, I got the pictures for my friend's little boys (who I've pretty much adopted as my nephews since the siblings on both sides of our family don't appear to ever have any intentions of procreating) taken AND edited today, in addition to the editing of the pictures I did a few weeks ago.....

yay. I 'm happy.

Anyways, I'm going to go take a shower now and get ready for bed!

The pictures are here if you're interested!

Oh and I also managed to squeeze in this picture of the bouncer but I can't post it on a public blog, so it's on the photo blog that is password protected. If you know us and want to see it, email me and I'll let you in.

In Which I Practice What I Preach

Well, after harrassing (or maybe nagging) my husband to get on his blog and DO something, I thought I should probably practice what I preach and get on mine and DO something. I don't know WHAT exactly, since my brain is feeling rather like mush about now, and I should really go to sleep, but honestly it's kinda funny to hear both of us typing on our blogs at the same time and I'm doing like the Bouncer and racing to be typing faster and hitting the backspace less times and I'm winning righ tnow owhah no i just had to it theaz asjkldfjl;aewj;lkrjk backspace.

And now he stopped typing so I can get back to my regularly scheduled uh........programming. Yeah. Programming. That was the word I was looking for.

Okay. That was fun. So what is my regularly scheduled uh.....programming......................

I could gripe more but I don't feel like doing that tonight.

I could tell about my day, but really don't feel like it.

So where are those journal jar things when I need them!!!! Uh.....what DID I do with those? I wonder if I could pull one out of my memory. Nahhh.

It's mush, just like my brain. Ya'll. I need a vacation. Like a permanent one. So does anyone have a gorgeous expensive oceanfront condo they'd like to give to someone in need (or me....)??? Well, how bout just for a week......like sometime in August. Anyone who lives on the beach read this blog? I'll trade a week stay in my house with our two wild animals (that would e the cats, not the kids....HAHAHA!) for a week stay in prime oceanfront property. I'd even clean it for you before I left......Any takers? Nobody? Really? Bummer.

Well, I know my honey is beating me for content tonight....I'm trying not to sneak peeks over at his screen until we've both posted, that way he won't accuse me of stealing his lines.

BWAHAHAHA!

I think the bouncer's competitiveness has just really rubbed off on me....everything is a race or a game that needs to be won. I feel like I'm playing Scattergories and I can't let my opponent see my paper until the timer goes off. Haha. I'm not worried about winning this one though, with the mush-ness of my brain tonight, I won't win any medals for this little piece of ramble. I don't even think this post could classify as "writing" other than the fact that it's made up of all the letters of the alphabet in somewhat grammatically correct order.....

*sigh* Sorry ya'll.

Oops. I just snuck a peek. I didn't see anything though. Haha! Okay.

Now that I have hit a mental block (don't like...cheer out loud or anything), I'm going to get off here and go to bed.

Aren't you proud of me? I only briefly mentioned the kids and I didn't gripe. Yay, me. And I didn't make anyone sleep in the garage tonight even though I'm smack dab in the middle of the horrific throes of Positively Murderous Shenanigans and I would have literally had more success getting the cat to dance through the house on tiptoes while juggling 5 mice than getting a child in our household to obey a simple command like, please don't throw that on the floor. Oops. I'm getting really close to griping. Must. Stop. Now.

Okay. I'm going now.

Later!

Just your average

Boy. The four HUNDREDTH post.....and nothing spectacular to blog about. Actually, just another wild night with walls who listen better than the kids. FA-RUS-TRATING!!!!!

I invited another 8 year old boy to spend the night with bouncer since we had a little birthday dinner here for bouncer tonight. Dinner went.....okay. We invited over our friends who are in the process of getting licensed so they can adopt him. Everyone was great except bouncer and munchkin. *shaking head*

The munchkin was super excited b/c somehow she figured out that we were having spiderman cake (actually it was cupcakes) and she kept saying PIDE-MAN CAKE NOW??? I was trying to keep bouncer from figuring it out and I kept telling her to hush. I can't even count how many times she ignored that request. And then the other irritating thing from her was "WHY?" Everything I answered her with tonight was "WHY?" UGH. But even that wasn't SO bad....

Bouncer? Well, excited doesn't even begin to describe HIM. Hyperventilating b/c a friend was over and his other mom and dad were here and it was his birthday and we had pasgetti (spaghetti)......well.....he had a REAL hard time listening and remembering any of the rules we've been over and over a zillion and one times. And we laid off since it was his birthday and all.....so when he was finished, there was pasgetti all over his shirt, all over his face (LITERALLY) and on the floor, on his hands, on the chair....you name it. Every one of our gentle reminders was pretty much ignored and he ate like a wild untamed thing. Thankfully our friends already understand and were aware of these tendencies when he gets excited (and love him anyways....although I'm sure they are going to be working hard, like we have, to break some of these bad habits)....so it wasn't as embarrassing as it could have been.

The guest? On his best behaviour! I know he's got some just as bad behaviours, but thankfully none of them were exhibited tonight. He's done extremely well. Thank heavens.

So KC put bouncer to bed after our friends left, guest is on the computer and I put the munchkin to bed after reading her book and cuddling. The usual routine. Tonight though, she's more than a little more excited than normal b/c of guest being here. So she cries for a minute after I leave the room and then silence. And then banging on the wall. UH UH! NO. WAY. JOSE. So she knows the drill.....first offence, the stuffed animals are moved to the rocking chair (so far she hasn't figured out that she can go get them after I leave....and one night in the middle of the night, I put her favorite back in the bed with her and I walk in the next morning right after she'd gotten up and she'd put him back in the chair before she left her room....hahahahaha.....good kid!) Anyways, so I leave the room.....routine is repeated. All the way down to banging on the walls. second offence, lose nightlight. Then it was ONNNN. And the bouncer is already asleep. We do NOT want to wake him up. So I cover her mouth and let her scream into my hand to muffle it a little. She'll calm down, I'll let go and wait....silence, so I get up and start to leave and then shrill screaming again and the routine is repeated. I tried to tell her that if she wanted to scream, she needed to roll over and do it in the pillow so we wouldn't wake up bouncer. Nope. Can't do that either. I explained to her that I loved her, but that she was making the choices here, and if she didn't stop screaming, the next choice she would be making, would be to lose her music. That didn't seem to make anything better, so finally I just got fed up. I said, okay, if you want to keep screaming, you can sleep in the garage. You can scream all you want out there, but if you're going to sleep in here, you have to be quiet so that everyone else can sleep. NOOO. More screaming. Okay then. I pick her up, pick up her pillow and carry screaming child out to the garage. I step outside with her and close the door behind me and then tell her that if she wants to keep screaming, she needs to do it out here but if she wants to go back to her bed, then she has to be quiet. Lots of nodding and sniffling but no screaming now! So I pick her up and walk back in the house and toward her room and then she starts having a problem again, so I ask her, which is it going to be, your room or garage, and you know the rules! She points to the garage. Okay. Suit yourself. I carry her out to the garage. Lay her pillow on the floor and gently lay her on the concrete with her head on the pillow. Kiss her goodnight and tell her I love her, like she's not anywhere out of the ordinary and walk inside and close the door. (and just so I don't look like a totally horrid person, there is a small little light on the side of the freezer out there, plus the light shining through the crack under the door, so it wasn't any darker out there than in her room) Silence for about 3 minutes. Then crying. Screaming. And then banging on the door. So I open the door and tell her that if she wants to come inside, that she needs to be quiet, is that what she wants to do? DRAMATIC nodding and she, in complete silence, walks past me dragging her pillow behind her, to her room, in total compliance, lays the pillow on her bed and crawls in, sniffling every couple of seconds. Then I tuck her in....AGAIN.....and kiss her and tell her that she made an excellent decision and I was proud of her for making a good choice. Not a SINGLE peep since. Not even anything louder than a sniffle when I left the room. Sheesh. I feel like SUCH a meanie. But I had to do SOMETHING.....I couldn't let her keep screaming and wake everyone up, neither could I give in to what she wanted, which was for me to stay in there with her (for however many hours it takes her to fall asleep). And if it hadn't been so pitiful, I would have had to laugh at the way she just meekly drug her pillow behind her back to her room.....

Some days it's great having these guys....and other days, it feels like a HUGE struggle.

For my 400th post? It was one of the "other" days. Bummer.

Anyways....I'm extremely tired and tomorrow morning I have three kids to get out of the house by 7:05 (yeah right....in my dreams.....it usually ends up being 7:25 and I end up late....*sigh*).

Sorry for the gripey post.....I think part of it is Pretty Mean Syndrome, Pathetic Monthly Stupidity......whatever ya want to call the PMS stuff.....so just please forgive me. I'm trying.

I'll try harder later. Maybe after a little sleep......

Would You Like A Mental Slushie?

Compliments of a crazy brain? Uh. I didn't think so. If you don't, you should turn and leave now.
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You're still here? Okay then. Don't say I didn't warn you!!!!

I just got munchkin in bed and bouncer is at his old foster home for the weekend (they wanted to give him a birthday party and their weekend to do that was arranged back when we first got him. So I'm getting some much needed personal time now. It's just lovely.

Especially since munchkin has been a real drama queen for the last two nights. Tonight she cried when I told her she needed to either go find something in her room to play with or go somewhere else to pout b/c we loved her, but we didn't care to watch her pouting. Anyways, that threw her into a royal fit and I put her in her room where she did the whole screaming thing and wouldn't stay in her room. So I kept the door shut and let her scream and cry for about 4 minutes and then I opened the door and got her ready for her bath and stuck her in the bathtub. Did a quick bath and got her jammies on and called KC in for our family prayer and the fit finally wound up and quit about that time, when I finally told her she could hush or I wouldn't rock her to sleep....and she knew I meant business! LOL.

That whole fit thing is just ROTTEN. I H.A.T.E. it!!!!! And she was doing really good until she got sick and I let up on her b/c I knew she didn't feel good. I think maybe that was a bad idea. But I don't want to be mean either. It's such a fine line. And here I go griping again. Sorry. *grin*

Anyways. Personal time is great. Hahah! And we've now reached a NEW height....I type as my personal time is being currently interrupted. It's been an hour and a half since I put her in bed. And I heard a banging in her room. She was wide awake as anything and playing. She knows the rules....if mom has to come back in, the stuffed animals go away and then you have to go to sleep. Well, there's been no problem with that before. Tonight it's a little different story......we're going on thirty minutes now of crying, screaming, kicking fits that involve getting out of bed and going to the door and opening it and just standing there screaming out the open door. Woohoo! Joy! The third time I had to put her back in bed, I started gently covering her mouth so the screams were not quite so ear piercing. I made sure she could breathe out her nose, so I wasn't like hurting her....and then when she calmed down enough, I tucked her back in and left the room. To which she started screaming again but so far, the door hasn't opened again and it's finally silent from the tantrum regions of the house. I'm sure she's just moving to a new strategy of defiance. No way I'll get lucky enough for her to have actually fallen asleep. LOL. *sigh* I'm not mad about it. Slightly frustrated perhaps, but not mad.

Oh get this, just remembered this interesting detail.....remember those 3 kids I mentioned? Two year old twins and a five month old? Well....we dropped bouncer off at his old foster home and guess who we saw! YEP. You got it! Them. Apparently they were taken in to custody and needed quick temporary placement, so the previous foster mom said she would do it for the weekend. Brave soul! SO for this weekend....she's got the bouncer, her own son who is like 14, an almost adopted son who is around 11 or so, a daughter (not sure if she's foster or biological) that looked around 15 or 16, two year old twins, and a five month old for the weekend. WHOO. Glad I isn't her! YOW! So did you count? That was like 7. EHEHEHEHE. Hey. I can laugh. SHE said yes and SHE asked for the bouncer to get to come. Ya'll are welcome to laugh at me anytime I do anything so un-brilliant! LOL. Heaven knows I do it often enough that ya'll should never need medicine again!!!

Guess one (just UNO) shrieking, defiant three year old isn't too bad in comparison, huh?

And thanks for the comments and encouragement on fighting the devil. On that note, here's a good verse, one that is easy for me to remember.....(and pardon if I don't get it exactly right....you'll get the general idea) Resist the devil and he will flee from you; draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh unto you. That is one of my favorites! I'm always open to more ammunition though, so bring it on!!! *Grin*

*grin* Tomorrow is chore day.....I wish our kids were old enough to do chores. I can tell the munchkin to go clean the bathroom all day long and while she'd give it her best effort, I can just tell you, it would likely look much worse after her efforts than before! *GRIN* And same with the bouncer! He's just so distractable, that you literally have to stand over his every move if you want him to finish a task....it's just easier to do it myself! LOL. Not better for him, b/c he needs to learn, but it just takes sooo much effort! And after all day of talking to the wall and nobody listening to a word I say, it's effort that I don't have in me. Please tell me it gets better????? *GRIN*

Ehhhh....what's that you say, Mom? Yeah, I know, I know....I still remember being that obnoxious teenager.....thanks for the comfort there.....LOL.

Anywho.....there's silence for thirteen minutes now. Do you think I should go check on the munchkin? Ahhh....it's friday night. She can sleep in tomorrow. I've had enough fight for one night. Unless of course I hear banging again. Then it's gonna be on. I'm sure ya'll will be able to hear it from whereever your computers are located!

Otay. I'm going to go do something productive with my time.....by the way this is post number 398. AND the fourth day in a row if my deductions are correct (and I don't feel like going back and checking, so if it's not, then I'm sorry). I'm getting dangerously close to 400 posts on the old blog. Maybe I'll celebrate by doing another informal blog quiz....hehehe. And maybe not. *grin*

Like I said....I'm off to something more productive now. Like sleep maybe. HEH! And in MY bed. The floor pallet is GONE. I removed it just in case the munchkin got any ideas about me sleeping in there again. Cuz just so ya know, I ended up on it again last night b/c I didn't feel like waking the whole house up with that battle at 2:40 am.....when I crawled out of my cozy, comfy bed to go see why she was crying again and found her AWAKE and not in any pain, instead she was pointing at the pallet and crying, "mommy, mommy." So being half asleep and not wanting poor exhausted KC to have to try to get the bouncer back to sleep, I mumbled something about I'd do it tonight, but tomorrow night mommy was going to be sleeping in her own bed and then just laid down and went to sleep and the rest of the night was spent in peace. Tonight.....well, I'm sure the battle is already started.....unlike last night though, the bouncer is out of the picture. Perfect timing. I've got two nights to get her back under control. I'll keep you posted!

Happy Friday.....where was I? Oh yes. Productive. Right.

Well.

After whining and throwing fits all evening, I decided that the best thing for her would be some sleep, so I gave her a bath (which was drama in itself for whatever reason) and put her jammies on and started rocking her and the munchkin fell asleep within fifteen minutes......and I laid her in bed at 7:58. Knocking on wood here, hope that's not a bad sign. I was really hoping to sleep in my own bed tonight. The floor is getting old. Oh wait....maybe it's ME that's getting old. Ha!

Anywhooo....I took them both to daycare this morning and went to work. The munchkin didn't run a fever yesterday and didn't complain about her throat hurting after yesterday morning, and then by yesterday evening I started noticing that she was becoming something of a drama queen and I have come to the conclusion that she figured out that crying and moping got her lots of attention if she was sick so she was going to play it for all it was worth. This became more obvious every time she noticed that your attention was diverted.....to anyone or anything else. She was suddenly wailing then and when you stopped and went down the list, asking her if specific parts hurt and she said no to all of them and then you asked why she was crying, the tears and pouting just magically disappeared and she went about her normal business. Uh. Hel-lo....we're being played here! She was just like, "oh. uh....okay, you got me....I'll go back to normal now."

And the funniest thing, too......so she went back to daycare today? Had a good morning. Later this afternoon, they said she started moping around and saying her throat hurt and just drinking a LOT! Well, I got her home and started making some sandwiches for supper and the first thing she asked me: Ice cream? No, sweetie, I'm making supper. If you are hungry you can eat a banana for snack.

NOO! *screaming and grabbing throat like she's being tortured* ICE CREAM!

Uh. NO. Banana. Final answer.

So she goes off and plays and then comes back later and eats supper and then goes back to playing and I have not heard a single mention of her throat since (although I did give her a half a dose of children's tylenol just in case her drama was real -- which could play a small part of that.....however, as much screaming and throwing of fits as she did over various things tonight, I'm sure that if her throat was really hurting that bad, the screaming would have made the small bit of tylenol that I gave her wear off quickly, so I'm fairly sure that it was mostly just drama for the sake of ice cream). I guess I shouldn't complain since that is a fairly intelligent conclusion to come to for a three year old. Throat hurts + crying = mommy falling all over herself to baby me + yummy popsicles. Yeah. I'd say she's a pretty smart kid. I wish she would put it together in other ways....ya know, like: Throwing fit +/- whining +/- not listening = loss of various objects +/- time out. Do you think it's the +/- signs that are throwing her? Really, I make it simpler than that, I'm just generalizing for the sake of this blog.

Whatever.

I got a book in the mail from paperback swap today. I feel that it will be fairly appropriate for this stage of my life. It's called: (are you ready for this?) Mommy's Locked in the Bathroom: Surviving Your Child's Early Years With Your Sanity and Salvation Intact! And it's looking very much like I'm going to actually find some bathroom time if I want to read it. Haha. So when I come back and tell you all about the things I'm reading in this book.....well, that's as far as I'm going with that train of thought! ROFL!

Random question thrown in for the sake of throwing in a random question....is there ever a point when you'll get close enough to God that the devil will leave you alone? I was thinking about it today, and I can tell by the circumstances that go on in my daily life what my spiritual life is accomplishing. For example, there will be days when the mornings go terrible and the nights are worse, and I don't get to do any kind of Bible reading or focused praying and I don't take time during the day to think about the things of God....those days, it seems like the devil just leaves me alone....which is a BAD sign. But this week, I've tried to spend more time thinking about scriptures and talking to God, worked on some studies and church materials....and after a few days like that, it's like the devil gets mad and throws people up in my path to trip me up. Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a problem with....people that are in my path to trip me up.....and it's nothing that....people in my path are doing to cause problems either, it just seems like for some reason, paths will cross for no reason and then I'll spend way too much time worrying about paths crossing in the future or what if this or did I say the right thing or will this cause problems there.....ugh. I just hate the devil. Like I said, it's not that there are any actual problems, it's almost like a thought diversion....oh no, you're thinking too much about Godly things, let's throw this up in your face to distract you and make you worry.

And in a complete change of direction (cuz it's my blog and I can) that random question for the sake of random questions line reminded me of my doofus self at dinner tonight. When I told the bouncer, "Let's not worry about where we're at right now, let's just worry about where we're at right now." and as the words were leaving my mouth, I thought. Hum. That made no sense. What I meant to say was, Let's not worry about where we're NOT at right now, let's just worry about where we're at right now. And even after I corrected my thinking, I decided that to try to correct myself would simply be too complicated (remember this is the kid with 1001 questions over everything), I simply decided to just let it hang out there and hope no one caught it. (Other than KC of course, who gave me the "Uh.....that made no sense" look) About 1 minute later, bouncer looks at me and says, "Mom? That made no sense!"

LOL. I was like, "I know." Moving RIGHT ALOONNNNGG!!!!!

So our licensing worker told my hubby today that there is a possibility of a sibling group that may possibly need placement in the near future. 2 year old twins and a 5 month old. I was like....uh....the five month old sounds REALLY tempting, but 2 year old TWINS? PLUS our three year old drama queen (who rolled out of her bed mid-sleep tonight for the first time ever as I sat here blogging and she was furiously mad that her sleep was thus interrupted and refused to calm down even with me instantly at her side and holding her) and who knows when exactly that bouncer will be moving on into his adoptive placement. I'm nuts, but I'm not quite THAT certifiable yet!!! ROFL! Actually, I did think about it....for all of three seconds.....and then common sense kicked in. That would be four kids 3 or under and not only that, but they're all kids that come with all the issues that are involved that caused them to be put in foster care in the first place, bless their hearts. It's really sad, but I don't think placement in our home would be their best scenario....or mine....

Ya know, though....there is a piece of me that just longs to be able to do something to help them ALL. I don't know. Maybe I'm nuts, but I would absolutely LOVE to be rich and have a huge house and take in at least fifty of these kids who need a home. While I'm dreaming, I'd also like a housekeeper and nanny for those times when my sanity is needing a bit of time off. Also a gardener and repairman to show up a couple of times a week. Oh and let's not forget a cook. And since with all that money, I won't need to work, I'll be able to stay home and be like Julie Andrews and make them clothes out of curtains and then go out and play with them and teach them to sing do, a deer, a female deer, ra, a drop of golden........eh. Back to reality....actually I'd probably spend all my time taking them from one counseling appointment to the doctor appointment to football practice......hey....wait....I could just have a chauffer, too....that way the only thing I'd need to do is just have fun with them!!! ROFL. And sew their clothes out of curtains of course.....unless I also had a seamstress on staff....which wouldn't be a bad idea considering my lack of talent with a sewing machine and I'm not all about creating complete pieces of clothing with hand stitching..........................okay. End of this dream.

I'm sure you couldn't tell that I'm tired tonight. But hey...it's a blog entry. And if I'm not badly mistaken, I think this makes three nights in a row. Which is what I was going for anyways. Tonight is definitely a quantity not quality night. Hope you're not too badly disappointed. =)

Well, it's almost 10 and I haven't got much else besides this blog entry accomplished in this lovely evening where the kidlets have fallen asleep ahead of schedule for a change......now I'M the disappointed one.....

K. Later.

Sick + Kids = No fun

But hey look....this makes two posts in the same number of days.....this is progress!!! LOL

Unfortunately, I have no really funny incidents to post....I seem to have hit a block in my dumb stunts....knock on wood. That's mostly because I've done little except try to not pull my hair out while trying to get this kid to drink liquids and not throw fits b/c her throat is hurting her.

Ya'll. This is getting like....so old. And I can only imagine how she feels.

Last night I made myself a pallet out of a handful of blankets and slept on the floor in her room b/c I had to be up comforting her every time she woke up crying and unconsolable which was about once an hour.....and I didn't want to wake KC up that often every time I had to roll out of bed and rush in there to soothe her. *sigh* It was definitely much faster to roll....er....climb off the floor and be patting her within two seconds of her crying. She just has to be close to me....I have gotten nothing done all day....but she's been wonderful today....well....at least much better....in comparison.

All I've done today is lay on the floor next to her on last night's bed of blankets and read my book while she watches barney and elmo and various other irritating kid movies. I say irritating b/c if I have to hear "I am learning to spell my name, each and every letter, it's almost like a game, each day you get better" (imagine that in barney singsong) one more time, I might just scream!!!! After about 12 reruns through that episode of Barney's ABCs, she finally let me change it over to Elmo in Grouchland. But I can't leave the room. She's perfectly happy as long as I'm holding her or she's lying next to me. Or if she wakes up and I'm not in sight, it's the end of the world. I say that as I sit here blogging from the rocking chair footstool in her room while she lays on previously mentioned blankets and takes her nap. Needless to say, this is not the most comfortable blogging position in the world. Neither was that bed the most comfortable sleep I have gotten......matter of fact, I woke up rather stiff. All 12 times that I had to get up. LOL.

My wonderful hubby, who took off work this morning in order to attend a permanency planning meeting for the munchkin at social services since circumstances happened which tie me to the house until further notice, had much mercy on me this morning while he was here at the house before the meeting and took the bouncer to school and then came back and started a movie for the munchkin so that I could get a couple of uninterupted minutes of sleep. I feel almost normal now.

I'm contemplating what to fix for supper tonight. It's almost four and the munchkin will probably wake up any minute now (she's been asleep for about thirty minutes this last time) and I'll have to once again try to fix supper with a whiny kid attached to me.

Last night we had an episode with supper. Not from the munchkin, but from the potatoes!! I had the brilliant idea to fix baked potatoes for supper...so at FOUR oclock, I started baking them. According to the handy dandy betty crocker cookbook, potatoes should take 40-60 minutes baked in a 425 degree oven.....wrapped in foil. So I did. One hour later, I pull them out and start to prepare them. They are barely softened at ALL. So I put them in the microwave.

Naturally, I removed the foil first. HA....you were imagining the worst, weren't you? ROFL! Seriously, I have like nightmares about forgetting to take the metal spoon I'm stirring the food with out of the bowl before sticking it in the microwave. I'm paranoid like that.

SO anyways, these are already partially cooked potatoes. And there are only like four of them, so I cook them for the entire baked potato cycle in the microwave....remove them.....sheeeeesh....still not soft all the way. Only now I'm out of time....everything else is either done, or waiting on the potatoes. I'm thinking, how can I rescue this attempt?

In a last ditch effort, I peel the potatoes (which are piping hot, let me tell ya, you'da thunk they'd have been closer to done!) and throw them in a bowl with some butter and sour cream and I mash those babies with the largest fork I have. Then I dump them in a stoneware dish and mix cheese in and put cheese and butter on top and then stick it in the oven. Hopefully by the time the cheese is melted, the potatoes will have finished cooking.

I put supper on the table. Including the potato dish. Which, I must say, at least LOOKED delicious and edible. Anyways, there were no complaints from the picky ones, but those potatoes still didn't taste quite done. The cheese made it palatable though, so I guess it wasn't a complete failure. I was so aggravated though. What was supposed to be a simple dish turned into a 2.5 hour affair. ARGH!

Anywho, I couldn't quite make myself throw it out after supper....after all, there was more than half of it left. I'm wondering if I put it in the oven now, perhaps by suppertime tonight it will be more edible?????? Hmm.....I'm thinking I should have a backup plan if I decide to try that! Hahah!

I do think leftovers will be the fare tonight though. Since I managed to get the munchkin to eat a childsized bowl of chicken noodle soup and about 6 crackers, I feel like a mildly successful mom and I'm hoping that I can get lucky for two meals in a row. I just can't seem to get any liquids down her. I have even resorted to chocolate popsicles just to get something down her. I wonder if she's wised up to my strategy and is refusing drinks just to get the popsicles. LOL. Crazy kid. Well, I have limited the popsicles to only after she's finished her drink or only after she's finished a whole bowl of soup. I have a dreaded feeling that I'm going to run out of popsicles...guess she'll have to go to the fruit ones now. LOL. Note to self: must send KC to get more popsicles....sugar free ones. Teeehehe.

Amazingly enough, she's still asleep. I think this is a record....forty five minutes! I'm going to have to click post before I push my luck. LOL.

For all the time it has been since I posted regularly, maybe sometime I'll get time to catch up, but for now I'm just going to have to say that it was busy and leave it at that and then continue from this point forward. It will make it much simpler on myself and I'll be less likely to procrastinate blogging b/c I don't want to take the time to do catch up. It's my blog...I can make up the rules if I want. hahah.

Anywho....till next time....hopefully tomorrow at the latest!
Later!