I Wasn't Even Close To Crying

until it came right down to the last moment when they were getting ready to leave after our fun evening at the play place in the big town half an hour from home.......

and we hugged him goodbye.....and even that wasn't sooo bad.......


.....but then

Munchkin

hugged him bye and they squeezed for like a full minute and then

she said (ever so sweetly and sadly)

"me hove you (his name here -- spoken in kid-ese)!"

and kissed his cheek and then she came and grabbed my legs and was holding me for dear life.

And I really don't know whether or not she realizes that he's gone for good. Maybe she does.

Awww. Mercy. And all of us adults just kind of looked at each other.

And the house is SOO incredibly quiet. Even with the munchkin whining around and talking and everything like usual, it felt like we'd gotten back home from a funeral or something and it was a dreadfully somber mood. After they left, I walked through the house and listened. It's just not the same. I am so happy for him and I was certainly ready for a breather....and for him to get to go with his "forever family," but internets? I'm having trouble seeing the screen right about now.

It will all be okay. I am sure I will get over this feeling very quickly. And then I'll get back to enjoying the peace and quiet and lack of bickering around the house. And I'm truly thankful that our situation of a foster child moving on has been one of a pleasant, amiable kind and that I can be confident that he is in the best place for him. Because I can only imagine how hard it will be when/if the time ever comes that one of these goodbyes is NOT said with such confidence. Be it munchkin or anybody else who we may have the honor of having in our home for an extended period of time, I am sure that it will be ten times more difficult. Or more.

But for tonight?

I'm pretty close to crying.

I'm going to stop blogging about it though, b/c I don't feel like crying until I start writing it down.....then all the feelings come out. It's much more comfortable if I keep all those feelings bottled up inside.

I'm going to go put a cork in that bottle now.

Or maybe I'll let that cork pop out and the contents of my bottle explode on my hubby's shoulders.

They're so good for that sort of thing.

Later.