Miscellaneous Monday Messages

Dear Stopped Up Toilet In My Bathroom,
You are really throwing a kink in our household life. Particularly mine. Do you have any clue how frustrating it is to have to go to my hubby's bathroom in the morning and then run into the bathroom where you are to use the shower? And thanks to you, I am much more aware of the fact that I will never make it in a one bathroom house again. Why do both kids always need to use the bathroom at exactly the same time? Like there's not 23 other hours in the day in which they could choose to need the bathroom? Anyways, you just need to swallow that draino, quit destroying plungers, and just gulp down that little wad of t.p. that is stuck somewhere in you, so that life can go back to normal. I don't get it anyways, you've taken much larger loads without so much as a twitch....get over it!

Love,
Tired of waiting in line


Dear Library Fine Fairy,
Thank you ever so much for making my day not such a "Monday" day. I am not sure how much I owed in fines that you magically whisked away, but I had four movies late and thanks to my rushed morning, I missed that skinny one on the shelf, so I still have one out in addition to all those other books that I'm sure are due..... And I know my fines had to be more than $5......so from ever so grateful me, thank you! It will make it much easier to swallow the next time I have to pay a fine and there is no fairy to wave her wand. *smiles*

Love,
Needs to be more organized


Dear Biological Child-Bearing Unit of My Beautiful Foster Daughter,
On days like today, I struggle to even honor you with the title of "mother." I dread going home today to see *my* daughter upset b/c you chose to be hateful enough not to show up or even have the courtesy to make a phone call to let DSS know so that the child who still loves you would not be left disappointed while waiting on you to show up for today's visit. I mean, it's one thing if you can't get there (although if it were my daughter I'd walk if I didn't have a ride) but there is absolutely NO excuse for not letting DSS know. It's a local call, and you can go to the neighbor's if you don't have a phone. And those drug classes? If you really want *my* munchkin back, you really should try practicing all those things you're supposedly learning in those drug classes. Maybe then you'd have enough money to get a taxi and make it to the once a week visits. And if you can't make it to see her once a week, what makes you think you're capable of taking care of her 24/7? I try to be understanding, I don't want to sound harsh, and as hard as it is, I try to *want* you to be reunited with the child to whom you gave life, but I'm sorry, I am watching your choices destroy her and that is simply inexcusable!

Sincerely,
Not biological, but *mom* in every way that counts


Dear Bouncer,
PLEASE STOP BOUNCING FOR FIVE SECONDS! PLEASE? You are bouncing all up and down on my last nerve. I love you, but you are wearing me out! How can we get through to you when you won't stop bouncing long enough to listen for five seconds?????

Love,
Mom Faith


Dear Sonic Checker-outer People,
Not that I'm complaining, but you need to be more consistent with your pricing. Some days I can get a Wacky Pack for 2.99 + 0.15 upcharge to regular drink size and other days the Wacky Pack drink size is not allowed to change from the teeny kid-size. Just like when I ordered the grilled cheese + fries + regular raspberry slushie b/c I knew from previous visits that there was not a *combo* available for that and then you asked me if I'd like that in a combo and was able to get the discount....and then the next day the grilled cheese does not come in a combo again. Why-ever not? Anyways, you need to get that straight. But I'm not complaining b/c except for the drink, the kids meal is just as big as the adult size plus I get a cool toy for my kids and *sometimes* even a regular drink and it's a whole 1.50 less than the adult size.

Love,
slurping my regular size slushie now


Dear Hectic Life,
Do you think that you will ever be able to give me a break before I am dead? B/c if you don't slow up a bit, you are going to kill me young. And by the way, you just caused me to use two words (kill and dead) that are making my blog rating PG instead of G. Thanks alot. Like you're not already causing me enough headache!

Love,
Trying to get out of the fast lane