Forgiven, Forgotten, Forever

In response to my earlier post, the question was posed: What if they're not sorry, how far does forgiveness go?

I already had some thoughts in that direction and even had a few scattered notes in a saved draft along those lines, although I had no intentions of posting them. However, after reading the comments to that post, I think a follow up would be good.

Again, I'm not targeting any specific comment (other than the question mentioned above) and I have no specific situations in mind. I think this is something that we all (myself included) need to work on and on a daily basis. (There's your heads up, so if you need to jump out here, this is your chance...LOL!)

for⋅give (verb, -gave, -giv⋅en, -giv⋅ing)

1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to grant pardon to (a person).
4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.

Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Also, from Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.: To cease to feel resentment against, on account of wrong committed; to give up claim to requital from or retribution upon (an offender); to absolve; to pardon; (read full definition here)

Whew. That's pretty tough. "Forgive" is a word we take so lightly. So when you truly forgive someone, that requires a "letting go" of it and to no longer demand that they be punished or receive retribution for their acts.

Now. What if they're not sorry? That gets a little tougher. You could paint many scenarios here; your child is killed by a drunk driver, you're a victim of a hate crime, a family member abuses you or someone you love, your boss steals the credit for one of your projects -- the list of offenses, ranging from petty to very serious, that could occur is endless. And the offender is not sorry about it. Then what?

What comes to my mind is Jesus' relationship with Judas...

John 13:10-12

10Jesus saith to him (Simon Peter), He that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all.

11For he knew who should betray him; therefore said he, Ye are not all clean.

12So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you?

Jesus did not refuse to have fellowship with Judas even though Jesus KNEW he would be betrayed by Judas. Jesus forgave him when Judas wasn't even seeking forgiveness...how do I know? Because it says that Jesus washed THEIR (meaning not just Simon Peter's) feet and loved Judas the same as all the rest of his disciples, even going so far as to DIE for them. And all the while, knowing that Judas would be the one turning him in for 30 pieces of silver.

Not only that, but knowing that Judas was going on to hang himself instead of coming back to Christ and asking for forgiveness. That is in Matthew 27:3-5 and in the verses following that, it appears that Judas killed himself while Jesus was yet alive, so to say that maybe he didn't come back and ask forgiveness because Jesus was already dead won't work.

Also, in Luke 23:34, when Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do," it seems like "they" weren't even aware that they were doing anything for which they needed to repent, yet Jesus was willing that God should forgive them.

But how do you know they are sorry or not, do they have to come to you and ask forgiveness in order to be repentant?

Another thought that came to mind was Saul/Paul, who did many evil things in the name of religion, and "wronged" many in the body of Christ (Acts 26:11). When God showed him the error of his ways and called him to follow in TRUTH, he changed into the Apostle that God wanted him to be (Acts 9:11-17). However, I don't find any place in the Bible where God required of Paul to seek out everyone that he had wronged or the families of those he persecuted and killed before God could use him to win others. I have no doubt he was repentant, and I'm sure that if anytime he may have been presented with the opportunity to ask forgiveness or make things right, he would have, but it is obvious that it couldn't have been a requirement to seek out and ask forgiveness of ALL those who he had wronged or God wouldn't have been able to immediately begin to use him.

Acts 9:20-22

20And straightway he preached Christ in the synagogues, that he is the Son of God.

21But all that heard him were amazed, and said; Is not this he that destroyed them which called on this name in Jerusalem, and came hither for that intent, that he might bring them bound unto the chief priests?

22But Saul increased the more in strength, and confounded the Jews which dwelt at Damascus, proving that this is very Christ.

So should the body of Christ have rejected him because he had "wrongs" that had not been "righted?" I guess I just feel like that's God's call, and I honestly don't see how we, as Christians, can do anything else except leave it to God and hold no grudges. That's easy to say, but much harder to live.

In that light, how is refusing to have fellowship because someone didn't come back and say they were sorry for whatever the offense was and you felt they should have, or withholding forgiveness because the person isn't repentant (or maybe they are repentant and you don't know it, or maybe they didn't do anything wrong in God's eyes, just yours, or who knows what the case could be) but how is that showing Christ in our lives? Not only that, but I have found that the reward of forgiving far greater outweighs the hurt feelings and grudges and I, for one, don't want to wait for them to be repentant in order to gain my reward...what if they never are?

Forgiven: the blood covers all of our sins;

Forgotten: He will never remember again;

Forever and always and endlessly: they’re cast in the depths of the sea

They’re forgiven, forgotten, forever, amen

Our sins are gone, He can’t remember them

There’s no need to beg His forgiveness again and again

Cause our sins are forgiven, forgotten, forever, amen

- Forgiven, Forgotten, Forever, Amen (Mike Bowling Group)

When God forgives us, it's forgotten. As humans, we obviously have a harder time forgetting when someone does us wrong, but shouldn't that be our aim?

I'm not saying it's easy. I can't even say that I get it right all the time, but with God's help, I can say it's what I'm striving for.

And for a little moment of humor, God's got the right idea about the forgetting part...it's much easier to forgive someone when you forget why you had a grudge in the first place. LOL!!