She Said It Better....

This post is exactly how I feel. Only of course, I could never get it across like this. And of course, she's got how I feel times 5....LOL.

So anyways, what are you waiting for. Go read it.

Great post, Baggage. Thank you!

Oh, It Is SO Official

....BioM is off her rocker.

Her last visit with her child? Today was Strike 2 on that.

And they're gonna give her another chance. Me? Not so willing....cuz I mean, come on.

First on Monday, she misses her last visit with her child (she doesn't have a ride).

Rescheduled to this morning. She called them last night and said a really good friend was in a bad car wreck and is in a big city hospital and they don't think he's going to make it, so she is going down there to be with him and won't be able to make the morning visit.

I have some issues with that.

Number one: You can't get a ride to a place 15 minutes from where you live, but you can magically get a ride to a place that is at least 2 hours away. Interesting.

Number two: Your daughter is, in a manner of speaking, dying to you. This is your last visit. You will not have any rights to her life after this. If, in fact, this story of your friend's accident is true, then essentially, you chose your friend over your daughter.

Number three: This is nothing new, you've been choosing yourself or your friends over your daughter all along. Why they've continued giving you chances when it's obvious you're not interested, is beyond me. I just don't get it. I'm sorry. I do feel sorry for you, but I'm having some problems with your decisions. And I don't understand how you could have a beautiful little girl and not choose her over everything else.

I am so ready for this to be over.

I think I'm having frustration issues. LOL. Do they make a pill to fix THAT? Hahaha.

Anyways, I have missed so much work lately, I should really just be considered a part time employee. It's pathetic. I mean, I'm using my vacation time, it's not like I'm just disappearing without notice, but it's really going to stink when it comes time for my next vacation and I'm out of time. *grin* It would be so much easier if I could stay home. And if I can't stay home, then it would be so much easier if I worked closer to home. That way if I had to leave work for an appointment, I could at least just run to the appointment and come straight back....not like I'd have to take an entire half day b/c by the time I drove an hour home and then picked up the munchkin and got to the appointment and took her back to school and then went an hour back to work, it's already time to go home and I've wasted 60(x2) miles worth of gas on a couple of hours work. Sheesh. When you put it like that, it sounds like I'd be better off NOT working. ROFL. Oh well. SOME DAY.

I picked up some stuff to put together for the munchkin's bedroom. I'm going to work on that maybe Saturday. It's going to be so cute.

Well, I'm kinda in a grumpy mood. Feeling a bit of frustration and burnout about more than one area of my life right now, but nothing I can talk about on here, so I guess I'll just bottle it up for awhile longer. If it gets really bad, I'll go dump it on the private blog. No worries.

*HUGE SIGH* Some things are hard to articulate. (I think that's the word I want. What I'm trying to say is that some things are hard to say.....LOL).


Ugh. Later.

PS I don't know who's reading my blog but my statcounter is recording a whole bunch of hits lately, but it doesn't seem like there is anyone new even though it says there are......so......I think it's time for a new poll....hehehe. GO VOTE.

OH my goodness....I could just bust out crying

I got this email just now.

Faith –
I saw *munchkin* today and she blew me away. I can’t believe that this is the same child that I saw last school year! Her speech has improved a lot…she is talking more and using more sounds…I’m impressed! She didn’t stop talking the entire time I was with her today and last year I could barely get her to say a few words to me. She still has sounds that she has difficulty with, but her speech is much more understandable than it was a few months ago. You guys keep up the GREAT work you are doing with her…we will probably need to meet soon and change her IEP goals. Let me know your schedule and we will set up a meeting time.
Thanks,
*Speech Therapist*

WOW! That just makes me want to cry. We're doing SOMETHING right.

Monday Messages and Random Conversations

Dear BioM,
There are public transit services available for people like you. Not to mention, you could always call a taxi. It's pretty lame to delay your last visit with your biological child because you don't have a ride. Now I have to take my time to make an extra trip to bring the munchkin to see you at social services in a couple of days. UGH. And I don't know if you're really going to go through with relinquishing like you say you are, but I can just see you doing it and then changing your mind and it making the process more difficult in the long run. That would just be peachy. Don't get me wrong, I do feel for you, but I see firsthand what your bad choices have put your daughter through, and I have a hard time feeling sorry for you when I'm having to deal with the issues your behavior causes.
The Mommy who is raising your (soon to be ex) child

Dear new shampoo (Loreal something for anyone who cares to know),
I love coupons....especially coupons that enable me to buy a $4 bottle of shampoo and get the $4 bottle of conditioner free. I just hope you live up to your promises. Or else I'm switching back to my previous faithful (although unreasonably expensive -- in my opinion anyways....$6/tube is expensive to me) shampoo (john freida brunette for anyone who cares to know).
The shower fresh girl with the clean, wet hair.

Dear legs,
Walking 2 miles is not, like, extreme. You do not have my permission to complain OR to get sore. Just thought I'd let you know. And to give you fair warning, we do plan to make those little family walking trips to the park down the street fairly frequently as both KC and myself realize that you southern extremities down there as well as several other parts of our bodies are needing to be worked out a little more often. Ya'll are turning into lazy bums and this is going to stop. No complaining.
Your owner

Dear Betty Crocker,
I'm a little mad about the addictiveness of your double chocolate chunk cookies. It's almost worse than Edy's Cookie Dough ice cream. Maybe it IS worse. Especially since those packages of cookie mix are ALWAYS on sale. I think we've gone through about 12 packages of cookie mix in the last 12 weeks....or maybe 10 weeks. My legs want you to know that they blame you for their problems. If only you didn't make them taste so stinkin good. Could you like.....not be on sale next week? Maybe then I won't be tempted. Maybe the sky will fall, too.
Thanks for the extra unneeded calories (in other words, thanks for nothing!)
The lady who was madly stuffing cookie mix packages in her buggy during the last sale

Dear water,
Nothing like a walk in the park to make me appreciate your finer qualities a little more. Two things actually....one being the fact that your existence in the river near some places at the walkway was very slim, some parts of the riverbed being actually dry......and two being that a little exercise makes a cold glass of water much more satisfying than say.....a dr pepper. And that, my dear, clear liquid, is saying A LOT. Please ignore that old mean drought thing and come back in full force very soon, kay? We miss you.
Thirsty lady

Dear cell phone,
Get a grip. Stop dying all the time. If you're not careful, I'm going to trade you in for a better model. One that will hold a charge. This is no empty threat. Consider this your final warning.
Feeling like I'm glued to the charger


RANDOM CONVERSATION EXERPTS:

"les wock an WOLL, mommy" (as we were getting ready to leave for the park to walk tonight. translation: let's rock and roll. guess we must say that a lot, huh?)

"hep mac donals.....mommy me pray for mac donals!" (bedtime prayers....crazy kid)

"nakey woman......nakey woman.......nakey woman.......mommy, see nakey woman?" (while browsing through the sears sale paper and coming across the lingerie page....ROFL....I kept my mouth shut on that one.....so I could keep my laughter contained.)

"me get my teef cween nex???" (while watching in utter fascination as the dentist's assistant painstakingly brushed the green toothpaste on my chompers....munchkin was totally into it)

"you cween my daddy's teef, too??? dat's PUNNY!!!!!" (in response to the DA telling her how she cleaned her daddy's teeth, too!!!)

Ugh.

I have one of those headaches that really make me want to just crawl in a hole somewhere and not come out for days. *sigh*

Taken medicine twice for it and it comes and goes at random even yet. *sighhhhhh*

Not helping matters that I stayed home from church tonight (both because I wasn't feeling so hot plus I needed to get working on the layout for the next edition of the church newsletter) and then staring at the computer screen to work on that for the last 3 hours has made my head really not feel any better. *another sigh*

While I'm complaining, can I just say that I really dread tomorrow and Munchkin's last visit with her BioM? I took tomorrow off so if it goes really rough, I can go get her from school. Well, I didn't take tomorrow off for that reason only, I actually have a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon, but I took the whole day so that I will be available for some mommy love just in case it is a rotten visit for munchkin. Given her actions and conversations of late, and the fact that apparently BioM is no longer considering just relinquishing, I have no idea what BioM will tell her tomorrow and how that will affect her behaviors for the next few weeks/months. I'm really not all that concerned about her not relinquishing, b/c according to our social worker, Munchkin will not be going back to her, relinquishment or no, but I really doubt that BioM is going to be considerate enough to make the last visit as painless as possible for Munchkin's sake. *sigh*

Okay, I'd like to have a paragraph now that I DON'T end in a sigh. LOL. Oh, I got the bedspread thing going for Munchkin's bed today. Oh, it looks just adorable. It is going to be soooo cute when I get it all done with the headboard and everything. KC liked it, too!!! And you KNOW the munchkin was just beside herself with joy over her "big bed set." LOL. I will try to upload a photo in just a few minutes. My drives are all busy right now as I'm backing up all my photos onto our external hard drive. Her name is Lacie and she's a delightful little creature who comes in very handy for photo backups. I haven't done it in awhile (much to KC's consternation and he keeps bugging me about it) so I finally am doing it and it looks like it's going to take half an hour for the batch I'm transferring now. I think it's the last batch. I've only taken like 2k pictures since my last backup (in February). ROFL!!!! Do you think we might have a kid or something? Hahah.

What else. Oh, I'm trying to work on a blog to update about our kids that is public/private to give out to the social workers and birthparents of any kids we get....but I don't want it connected to me or this blog at all, since that one will just be select information that I want them to know about. LOL. I don't really want them to know how hilarious we found it that we have taught the munchkin how to CLEARLY say that she wants to get a hamburger at MAC-DONalds. And her second favorite place is Buger KING. I have tried to get her to say SUBWAY but she'd much rather say MACCC---DON-alds.

And she tells me I'm a bad mommy now when I don't give her what she wants. Yesterday she wanted some of my pop. I said no, your juice is over on the counter. This stuff is bad for you. So she tells me I'm a bad mommy. To which I respond, "Absolutely not. I'm a GOOD mommy. A BAD mommy would let you have this nasty stuff instead of juice, but I'm a GOOD mommy, so I'm not letting you have it. Go drink your juice."

I do draw the line somewhere between pop and mcdonalds. And for the record, fast food is not on our top-ten list....but occasionally, given our busy schedule, it does become a necessity....however we usually get Chick-Fil-A if possible and Wendy's or Subway are high on the list if Chick-Fil-A isn't possible. I know. Fast food is bad. But I do try to keep her healthy...even if it sometimes does become a "do as I say, not as I do" type of thing. Or would that be, Eat what I say, not what I eat??? LOL. When she grows up and wants to make her own decision about what kind of junk to put in her body, that will be her decision. Til then....ehehehehe.

Well, what else to talk about since there are still 17 minutes left until I can upload that picture???

How about some random. Here's a random thought for you.....what does a person's approach to eating corn on the cob say about their personality???? At supper tonight, I noted the following:

My first bite of COTC was somewhere near the center and then I rotated it and took another bite until I had a cleared section all the way around the center of my ear. Then I moved over to the next rows and did another circle around the cob until I reached the end and then went back to the middle and went the other direction.

KC, on the other hand, started at one end and worked his way down to the other end, in a straight line, before moving back to the beginning and starting a new row....kinda like a printer.....ROFL.

But the munchkin? Let's see if I can do a little text illustration for you (the Ks are corn kernels and the O's are the bites she's taken):

KKKKOOOOKKKKKKOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKOOOKKKKKKKK
KKKKKOOOKKKKKKOOKKKKKKOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKOOKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKOOOKKKKKKKKKOOOKKKKOOKKKK
KOOOKKKKKKKOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKK
KOOOKKKKKKOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKOOOKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKOOKKKKKKKKOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Now the end result was all the same.....just bare cobs by the time we finished, but the process of getting there was very diverse.

If I were clever, I would spout off some clever pun to sum up this random food for thought.....

Yeah. But I'm not. LOL

And there's still 8 minutes to go on the stinkin backup.

7

Oh well. My head hurts. I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll post those bed project pictures later.....

So....later.

Busy....my titles are all the same.

Yuck. I hate that. Both the fact that I'm so busy all the time and that my titles are all so boring. LOL.

Well anyways, sometimes I enjoy the busy. Like now...as I'm editing some of my friend's pictures....I'm enjoying the fact that, although I did stress a little over how they would turn out, I'm pretty happy that I was busy with doing their pictures today b/c they turned out really good. (Well, I think they look pretty good, anyways. I hope they feel the same. =) We'll see.

You can see the rest of the ones I've edited so far on my photography blog.

Other updates from today.....I talked KC into helping me get the Munchkin's "big bed" up from the basement today. And at this point, I think I MAY have talked KC into letting me get creative with it. I'll take pictures when I'm finished.....if it turns out good, that is. And IF I don't get otherwise sidetracked....which does occasionally......well, okay, maybe more than occasionally......anyways....what was I saying? Oh yeah. Sidetracked. Whatever.

=)

I'm in a mischievous mood tonight. You probably couldn't tell that though. Right? Sure.

Oh by the way, back to the big bed thing again (not that I was sidetracked or anything), the munchkin LUVED the big bed. We hadn't even dusted it off from being in the basement, til she was leaning on it and half closing her eyes and saying, "me sleepy, mommy. My night night time now?"

ROFL.

Ya'll know, that just don't happen.

And she didn't complain a whole awful lot tonight when it was REALLY time to go to bed, either.

Although keeping her from using it as a giant trampoline is going to be a terrible chore. *sigh*

I'm into paragraphs tonight. You couldn't tell that either, right? Just thought I'd throw that in there.

Oh and she still was happy with the bed, despite the problems I discovered with the brand new, pink, full size, sheet set that I bought for her new "big bed." Like the problem of the pink fitted sheet that I pulled out of the packet that clearly said "FULL" was actually a twin. Not a chance that THAT booger was going on the FULL size bed. Then I went and got a sheet out of the closet and unfolded it and realized that it, too,.....you guessed it.....duh, me.

After she got over the issues she had with the fact that I packed her new pink sheets back in the package to return instead of putting them on her bed......well, after that, and the incident with the OTHER twin sheet not fitting.....she was pretty happy when i found a green set that fit a full size bed. And she wasn't too mad about the fact that I don't have her bedspread/comforter yet (it helped that I had a cozy blanket to throw on there and laid her little dora bedspread on top of that). She was just tickled that mommy was going to get to lay down next to her on her "big bed" when it was time for night night tonight. *grin*

Anywhoooo, now that I've bored you to tears with all the details on the "big bed" saga...

Oh wait....one more. I almost forgot.....

Here is exactly what popped out of her mouth when we had put the big bed in and she got to sit on it for the very first time. Looking very pleased with herself, in a completely serious (yet excited) tone, she says, "Coo-ul." And I'm not kidding. It was very distinct. Cracked me up. Wonder if she's picked that one up from me? Hey. Cool!

Hehehe.

Anyways....are you crying yet?

Don't worry....I'll stop now.

Later!

FOUL!

Ugh. For some reason, I am just in a rotten mood tonight. It's like a cross between PMS and feeling completely unmotivated.....which in turn, just makes my mood that much fouler. Fouler. Is that, like, a real word?

I don't feel like going and looking it up. See there I go again!!!! That's exactly what I'm talking about.

I cleaned out Munchkin's closet tonight so that I can organize her toys and clothes and better utilize the space she does have to fit a "big girl bed" into her room without overcrowding it. That child had way more clothes than I even thought. Good gravy! I pulled out three large boxes of clothing to put elsewhere. One box of winter stuff that I can store until she needs it. One box of "too small" to get rid of and one box of keepers (clothes that have plenty of wear and are really cute) for if we have kids later that wear those sizes. So I reorganized her dresser to hold some of the stuff out of her closet and now I have floor space in the closet to use for play area since part of her room is going to be taken up by her "big girl bed" which is a full size mattress and box springs that we have stored down in the basement and decided just to use it instead of buying a whole new bed. I'm trying to talk KC into letting me be creative and putting the box spring and mattress directly on the floor and then making some kind of creative, girly headboard that will "grow" with her. He's not too keen on the idea right now. He's just not seeing my visualization of how cute I can make it. On a budget. He's all: "No, we're going to buy a real headboard and if you want to paint it, you can." He doesn't understand that I'm not going to have the freedom on a "real" headboard that I'd have if I was just playing around on some cheap pieces of latticework with wooden decorations attached to it.......I'll keep working on him. But......then again, considering my lack of motivation at this particular moment to do anything important, maybe it's a good idea not to do anything too complicated.

Which leads me to another source of aggravation. My started projects that are all over the house........and that is frustrating because......I have LOTS of projects started and ZERO MOTIVATION to work on them. Probably partly due to the fact that I don't like to do only a little bit on a project. I like to start something and work on it for hours until I'm finished. I hate that I've had to put down the projects and I know that if I pick them up again, I'm not going to have the hours of devoted time to finish them, so I just don't pick them up. Consequently there is a box full of denim sitting under the chair next to the garage door (project: decorative embroidery on skirts, altering current skirts to fit more appropriately and to look cuter, split repair, and random other projects that could be created with the leftover denim if I ever get the time or motivation; time lapsed since last worked on projects: at least 2 months), scrapbooks and supplies scattered all over the house (project: well, this one is pretty obvious; time lapsed: a week --so this one isn't too bad), boxes sitting in the hallway and piles of junk in the garage (project: cleaning out for yard sale; time lapsed: well this pile grows larger frequently but the yard sale has yet to happen), stacks of paper scattered here and there all over the house (project: get organized; time lapsed: maybe a few hours....I usually do a few pieces every now an then.....usually rearranging, not really organizing. LOL), are you getting the picture yet?

By the way, that is a sore spot with KC. My unfinished projects, that is. LOL. But it's okay. I just laugh it off.....can't say much else cuz he's pretty right about it. And it's a sore spot with me, too. Hehehe....hence the frustration tonight.

Ahhhhhh.

I don't feel like editing pictures. I don't feel like scrapbooking. I don't feel like reading. I don't feel like eating. I don't feel like cleaning (oh, but wait....that's normal....Hahahaha). I almost don't even feel like blogging. That's bad. But since I'm blogging out all my frustrations about not feeling like doing anything, I guess I'll overlook that.

Ugh. I'm so out of sorts. I feel like the Munchkin tonight. Grumpy.

Oh and did I mention that "IT" happened. I got it for the first time today.

"YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!!!!!"

Whoa. Dude. Where'd THAT come from?????????? And where ever that came from.....make it STOP!!!!!! You know, now that I think about it, I think that was about when I started feeling grumpy and out of sorts. Terrific. She has the power to control my mood. THAT'S going to stop. I didn't let on to her that it bothered me. Seriously though, the thought that I didn't realize she was the one who set my mood for the evening bothers me more.

Okay. I feel better now. This is the end of her control. I suddenly feel very motivated to get in a good mood. LOL. Sleep sounds like a good start in the positive mood direction.

I have to say though, I'm ready for this mean critter to go away and give me my Munchkin back. I'm not loving the b r a t mode.

Night.

Strange Happenings

STORY EDITED AT BOTTOM***

So when we got back from vacation on Monday afternoon, we pulled up and saw a For Sale sign in our yard from a local real estate agency.

We were kinda like, huh? Our house isn't on the market. I mean, we've been talking about finding a bigger place, but haven't gone much farther than that. Somebody must have just made a mistake or something, but we took it down as soon as we got home and saw it.

So I called our friends who house sat and asked them if it was there when they left the last day, and they said no. We're not sure when it showed up or how it got there, but it's the craziest thing....while it was up, apparently somebody called the real estate agency and made an offer on the house that we just CAN'T refuse. We're going to go sign papers on Friday and then I guess we'll be house-hunting. We had been thinking about moving anyways since with this new promotion, KC's job is offering him a position at the plant in Oregon that would be an incredible opportunity but we weren't going to do it b/c of all the stuff here and that's such a long way from here. But it's also perfect timing with Munchkin, too, now that she doesn't have to visit with BioM anymore, we'll just have to fly back for the court dates and that stuff from time to time. It's just incredibly amazing how things are just falling into place in strange ways.

Just keep this information to yourself until it becomes more definite. If you know me and you have any questions, just holler at me and I'll be happy to fill you in on all the details.

I'll keep you posted with any updates. Check back to this post later. =)

EDITED TO SAY*****
Everything past the statement "....it's the craziest thing" was totally made up. We figured, based on some random phone calls we got after we got home, that the sign was put in our yard as a prank, but I thought....what IF something like this happened.....so as I'm pretty sure that the person who did it reads this blog, I decided to play around a bit and make them think that their prank backfired on them. LOL. Anyways.....hope no one is mad about my little jesting. There is no plant in Oregon, and we're not going anywhere! *grin* Hope no one is disappointed about THAT either. LOL!!!! Anyways, I also hope that where-ever the prankster got the sign, that it wasn't stolen cuz, I'd hate for someone whose house was on the market to not have a sign in their yard. *grin* And I still stand by my comment: I DO know God loves us and I know that things like that COULD happen. Anything is possible with God. So to our pranksters, whoever you may be, while it was amusing, be sure to think about what COULD happen as a result of your prank. *smiles* And I say that in the nicest possible way! *grin* Ya'll know me....the thinking about the results of your actions before you do them is always a work in progress for me, so I should know what I'm talking about. *grin*

Once again....love ya'll....hope no one is too mad or disappointed. *grin*

later!

Other Mommy *update*

So KC tries to comfort me last night by telling me that she'll forget about it by tomorrow. Well....tomorrow arrived this morning and the first thing she asks me?

"Me go home to my other mommy tonight?"

"No, sweetie, I'm really sorry."

*sad face but no tears from munchkin*

*picking her up and cuddling her for a minute* "It'll be okay though. I love you, baby and I want you to be my little girl forever....do you think you could handle that?"

"Uh huh." *huge squeezy hug from munchkin* "Me HOVE you, mommy."

"I love you, too, sweetie."

So all in all, I guess it could have been worse. I just really, really dread the final visit on Monday.


Then tonight while doing the bedtime routine again, she asked again, "Me go home with my o'mommy now??"


"No, I'm sorry, she can't come get you."


*lower lip starts quivering"


"But it's okay, baby. *insert chipper tone here* Do YOU know WHAT?? I am SO glad you are my little girl and do you know that your daddy and your mommy love you TONZ???? You know, I am REALLY proud of how you listened when you got out of the bathtub tonight. You got out as soon as I asked even though you didn't want to, and you didn't whine about it. I am so proud of how good you listened. And that's why you got to get a book before bed even though bedtime was getting a little late. You listened and obeyed me so good, that you got to get a SPECIAL treat. Isn't that COOL? Do you know that I LOVE my baby girl???"


*super huge grin now*


"Alrighty. It's time for bed now, baby. I love you! Goodnight."


"Me hove you, too, mommy."


Then wouldn't ya know it. A little while later I hear frantic meowing. I shut the cat in her room when I came out.


So I went and cracked open the door quietly and the cat zips out and I hear munchkin whisper softly from her bed, "Mommy. CAT in here!!!"

"I know. Sorry about that. I got him out. Goodnight."

I'm actually quite surprised that she stayed in bed with him meowing like that. Typically she'd get up and let him out. That's pretty good that she stayed in bed and waited for me to come get him instead of using him for an excuse to get out of bed. LOL.


Oh.....I need to scan a picture and put on here.....maybe I can do that tomorrow. It's hilarious. We were dying laughing.


And I posted this (or something along these lines) in the comments on the last post, but just in case ya'll missed my comment back to you guys:


Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. I really appreciate it...it's very encouraging whenever it gets rough. I'm feeling a little better about it now....now that I've kinda gotten over the sting and I'm trying not to take it personally b/c i know she doesn't really understand. It will be okay. I just needed to vent a little last night. So thanks for listening and for the comments.


And Amy, of course I don't mind that you linked me on your blog....as long as you don't mind that I linked you back! *Grin*


Alright...I'm going to go mess around for a few minutes and then head to bed....maybe soon I'll post the rest of the vacation pics.....wait....I think I've got a couple that I posted on myspace that I haven't posted here yet.....

our "pends" YaYa and Dustin (who went to da beach with us....yay)

lovely brownskinned us

and our slightly sunburned "pends" again.....

Anyways..... more later.

Dear God

I don't know if I can do this. I just feel like somebody suckerpunched me. I didn't expect a conversation like that tonight. It's hard to remember she's just three. I keep telling myself she doesn't know what she is saying, and she really doesn't understand. But it doesn't make it hurt any less.

I'm going away now to lick my wounds.

I'd rather deal with a tantrum than another conversation like that.....it's a lot easier to take her yelling hateful things when she's mad than when she's sad........

God help us.....this is hard.

Other Mommy

Munchkin (whispering to herself while mommy was rocking her to sleep tonight): "Me have two mommies. Me have two mommies, me have eight, nine mommies."

Mommy: "You know your other mommy...?"

Munchkin: "Uh-huh!?"

Mommy: "That is the mommy who gave you life. You were her baby, but she couldn't take care of you, so we get to be your mommy and daddy for awhile."

Munchkin: (starting to cry and continuing sobbing throughout the rest of the conversation) "Where my other mommy?"

Mommy: "I don't know where she's at right now, sweetie."

Munchkin: "My other mommy love me."

Mommy: "Yes, sweetie, your other mommy loved you, but she made some choices that weren't very good and because of her choices, she couldn't take care of you, but we love you, too, and we're going to take care of you, okay?"

Munchkin: "Okay. You take me home to my other mommy now?"

Mommy: "No, sweetie, I'm sorry. I can't do that. She couldn't take care of you and that's why social services had to take you away from her. She's not a bad person, but she made some choices that weren't very good, and now you get to be with this mommy and daddy, and we love you very much."

Munchkin: "NOooo, me want my other mommy!!!! WHY?????"

Mommy: "I'm sorry, sweetie, I know it's hard to understand, and I don't know why she made the choices she made. But you know how you make choices to be good or to do bad things? Well, she has choices like that, too. That's why mommy and daddy are trying to teach you to make good choices so that when you grow up and have a little girl, you will be able to take care of her, right?"

Munchkin: "Uhhuh....my other mommy love me?"

Mommy: "Yes, sweetie, your other mommy loves you, but she made choices that didn't allow her to keep you. I'm really sorry, and it's okay for you to feel sad about that, and anytime you feel sad or you miss your other mommy, you can come to this mommy and daddy and we'll hold you until you feel better, okay?"

Munchkin: "NO, me want my ooootherrrr mommy!!!! Me not want you!!!"

Mommy: "You don't like it here with this mommy and daddy and going to the beach and all your stuff in your room and being with us?"

Munchkin: "NO. Me run away to my other mommy!!!!! Me not stay here!!!"

Mommy: "I'm sorry, sweetie, I know it's hard to understand. We'll talk about this later when you can understand a little better."

Munchkin: "I lovvveee my otherrr mommmyyyyyy!"

Mommy: "Shhhhh. Shhhhhh. I know, baby, I know. It's hard isn't it? But we can pray for your other mommy. Do you want to do that now?"

Munchkin: "Uh huhhhhhh"

Mommy: "Dear God, please help (Munchkin) to understand why she can't be with her other mommy and please help her other mommy to start making good choices. Please comfort (Munchkin) and help her to be happy here with this mommy and daddy and not to miss her other mommy so bad. In Jesus name, Amen."

Munchkin: (calming down a little bit) "Me want my other mommy."

Mommy: "It'll be alright. We'll talk about this another time when you understand it a little better, okay?"

Munchkin: "Awwright."

Mommy: (tucking her in bed) "Goodnight, baby. I love you (kissing her cheek softly)

Munchkin: "Hoveyoutoo"

BEAT.

This is it. Today was the last day. Tomorrow we get to go home. Munchkin's mad about it. Her favorite saying...."ME NOT READY GO HOME YET!!!! ROFL. She did good today....no nap either....today was a beautiful day out on the beach and I didn't want to have to sit inside and I figured as long as she was in a good mood we'd just let her go. Shoo, the waves were ROUGH today though.....I am exhausted. We were out for about 4 hours I guess and I could barely stay on my feet out there b/c the waves were so powerful.....KC and Dustin had to take turns lifting the Munchkin over the breakers so she wouldn't get carried away. When I tried to carry her today, I couldn't keep us both out of the water. LOL. She is such a trooper though, I couldn't believe how good she was. She is all proud of herself this trip....doing lots of big girl stuff!!! Showering by herself, sleeping in big girl undies, swimming on her own (well, with the help of floaties), all kinds of stuff. She's done really good.

I'd post pictures, but most of the ones I could post from today show her face....plus I'm on KC's computer right now since mine is packed, so it would be kinda hard to get the pictures uploaded and edited to NOT show her face, plus his computer is much harder to work with than mine. So maybe later.

We went to Bonefish Grill tonight for supper.....the owner of the condo gave us a $50 gift card for our trouble with the internet at the beginning of the week. Very yummy. We spent all of it. *grin* It was SO worth it. YaYa and Dustin went with us there, and they liked it, too. (YaYa and Dustin stayed until late this evening but they had to head back tonight so Dustin could go to work tomorrow morning.)

Anywhoooo.....I guess I'm going to get moving here.....need to go check on the munchkin. She's watching Cars in her bed, and I'm hoping she'll fall asleep before I go in there so I can just turn it off and come back in here......but it's time to turn it off now, so if she's not asleep, I'll have to go in and lay down with her until she goes to sleep. She's so tired, she should be out quick. And if she's not out quick, I'm going to end up falling asleep in there myself.....we've got almost all the packing done and I'm just doing the laundry now so I won't have to do it when we get home. *sigh* But I'm EXHAUSTED! Vacation is HARD WORK!!! LOL.

Well, see ya later.