Monday, September 03, 2007

Other Mommy

Munchkin (whispering to herself while mommy was rocking her to sleep tonight): "Me have two mommies. Me have two mommies, me have eight, nine mommies."

Mommy: "You know your other mommy...?"

Munchkin: "Uh-huh!?"

Mommy: "That is the mommy who gave you life. You were her baby, but she couldn't take care of you, so we get to be your mommy and daddy for awhile."

Munchkin: (starting to cry and continuing sobbing throughout the rest of the conversation) "Where my other mommy?"

Mommy: "I don't know where she's at right now, sweetie."

Munchkin: "My other mommy love me."

Mommy: "Yes, sweetie, your other mommy loved you, but she made some choices that weren't very good and because of her choices, she couldn't take care of you, but we love you, too, and we're going to take care of you, okay?"

Munchkin: "Okay. You take me home to my other mommy now?"

Mommy: "No, sweetie, I'm sorry. I can't do that. She couldn't take care of you and that's why social services had to take you away from her. She's not a bad person, but she made some choices that weren't very good, and now you get to be with this mommy and daddy, and we love you very much."

Munchkin: "NOooo, me want my other mommy!!!! WHY?????"

Mommy: "I'm sorry, sweetie, I know it's hard to understand, and I don't know why she made the choices she made. But you know how you make choices to be good or to do bad things? Well, she has choices like that, too. That's why mommy and daddy are trying to teach you to make good choices so that when you grow up and have a little girl, you will be able to take care of her, right?"

Munchkin: " other mommy love me?"

Mommy: "Yes, sweetie, your other mommy loves you, but she made choices that didn't allow her to keep you. I'm really sorry, and it's okay for you to feel sad about that, and anytime you feel sad or you miss your other mommy, you can come to this mommy and daddy and we'll hold you until you feel better, okay?"

Munchkin: "NO, me want my ooootherrrr mommy!!!! Me not want you!!!"

Mommy: "You don't like it here with this mommy and daddy and going to the beach and all your stuff in your room and being with us?"

Munchkin: "NO. Me run away to my other mommy!!!!! Me not stay here!!!"

Mommy: "I'm sorry, sweetie, I know it's hard to understand. We'll talk about this later when you can understand a little better."

Munchkin: "I lovvveee my otherrr mommmyyyyyy!"

Mommy: "Shhhhh. Shhhhhh. I know, baby, I know. It's hard isn't it? But we can pray for your other mommy. Do you want to do that now?"

Munchkin: "Uh huhhhhhh"

Mommy: "Dear God, please help (Munchkin) to understand why she can't be with her other mommy and please help her other mommy to start making good choices. Please comfort (Munchkin) and help her to be happy here with this mommy and daddy and not to miss her other mommy so bad. In Jesus name, Amen."

Munchkin: (calming down a little bit) "Me want my other mommy."

Mommy: "It'll be alright. We'll talk about this another time when you understand it a little better, okay?"

Munchkin: "Awwright."

Mommy: (tucking her in bed) "Goodnight, baby. I love you (kissing her cheek softly)

Munchkin: "Hoveyoutoo"


  1. Okay. I'm crying buckets because I feel frustrated that you and she have to even have a conversation like this. One day she will appreciate and understand the love and healing you have continued to offer her.

  2. I am so sorry. This must have been a painful conversation. I love how it ended.

    Hoveyoutoo, is so cute!

  3. You are a wonderful mommy! I love that you prayed for her and her other mommy..what a sad yet hopeful moment, thank you for sharing this with us.

  4. I'm sorry. Ouch. I know that hurts but you handled it so well. Good for you.

    (And thanks for the link to my blog!)


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