Barbie Doll
Barbie Doll, somewhere between the age of 18 & 22, of Western North Carolina, passed away Wednesday, Dec. 3, 2008, in church. A prior resident of NotToFarFromHere County, she was adopted by a very young Miss Always Faith, and at the time of her death, resided in This County. She was preceded in death by a sister, Skipper. Surviving are eleven (give or take 1 or 2) sisters/sister in laws (all named Barbie), a few husbands (all named Ken), one little brother (Kevin), & five nieces (two named Kelly and three baby triplets). Funeral services were held at 10:30 p.m. Wednesday next to the trash can with the Mrs. Always Faith officiating. Burial will be whenever the trashbag containing her body reaches the County Memorial Stinkplace (known to locals as "the dump"). The family will not be receiving friends due to the emotional state of Ms. Doll's most recent "mother," Miss Munchkin. In lieu of flowers, please send all donations to the "Do Not Store Barbie's In Hot Places Or Their Necks Will Rot" Foundation.
Doll Suffers From Tragic Accident In Church Service
Ms. Barbie Doll was having her hair done during church when her neck snapped. She was old in Barbie years and belonged to another generation. It seems that somewhere between generations, she suffered from the Excessive Heat In Storage malady that appears to affect rubber necks with rot, causing them to break with little hope of survival (as was also the case with her deceased sister). Mrs. Always Faith was on the scene at the time of the tragedy and valiantly performed CPR but with no success. Ms. Doll's head continued to fall off and she was pronounced dead approximately 10 minutes after CPR started. There was drama in the pew when 
the current generation did not want her to die, but Mrs. Always Faith prevailed and the body was wrapped in graveclothes for burial after church. Mrs. Faith was sad because Ms. Doll was a gift to her in her own childhood and was one of her favorite dolls, but she remained strong through the end of church and conducted a private funeral later that night. Ms. Doll was a longtime member of the family and will be missed. Weeping may endure for the night, but joy will (most likely) come in the (form of a NEW Barbie on Christmas) morning.
Wow. The doll was yours when you were little and it still looks that good? Did you even play with it? lol! Sorry for the "death" but Mattel has been known for their breakthrough in cloning and has them at the nearest Wal-Mart. Can be purchased for $5 right now (Diamond Princess, I think) because we already got our girls this stocking stuffer.
ReplyDeleteI am amazed that I wasn't invited to the "funeral" seeing that I was probably the one who made her a part of your "family" originally. Anywho, I probably didn't feel like "crying." Very funny post, I read it to daddy and we almost cracked up. He said "She can write good." Anyway, hope the sick is better and you are getting rested. Love you
ReplyDeleteLOL...first off, dad, you made my day...that was so sweet of you to say!!!
ReplyDeleteMom, sorry you didn't get an invitation to the funeral, but there was a need for quick burial before the Munchkin realized that her doll was in the trash can. LOL. I'm glad you enjoyed the post!
And yes, Nightingale, she did have shorter hair (thanks to the time I took scissors to it) but otherwise was in fairly new condition (except for the...you know...rotted neck thing) even though I did play with her quite a bit!
Awww, poor Munchkin...and poor Munchkin's mommy :) I gotta say though, somehow that post made me miss the days of playing Barbie's over at my best friend's house. Alot of the ones we played with were from HER mom's collection. I guess dating back to the 60's.
ReplyDeleteGood old Barbie Doll. Sure beats Bratz anyday, in my book!
I'm sure this was tragic at the momment...but your post cracked me up! :o)
ReplyDeleteI should say too, that I really liked the way you posted this...Hilariously interesting...Great writing and placement skills too. You should blog more often.(*smile*) I know I'm in for it now...HA!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear of the tragic death of Ms. Barbie.....I still have MY Barbie's (you wanna talk OLD here?) so I can totally mourn with little Ms. Munchkin....although, you did forget in your obituary that Barbie has/had a cousin.........Midge......who may or may not still be living.......
ReplyDeleteVery funny post.........you do 'write good'......haha! You should do it more often....ever thought of writing obits for the newspaper???????????????
susan
I soooo needed this laugh today!! Sorry about the doll, though. :)
ReplyDeleteYou never cease to amuse me. Keep blogging!
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny!!!
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