Words Escape Me

Wow...been a few days since I posted.

Sunday we stayed at the church all day to save gas since we had choir practice between services.

Monday, I got up and took some more boxes up to the attic and tidied the house up a bit, then packed up the kids (K-man's daycare is closed this week) and went to Morgan's house to help her with her math, and after we did her math and the kids had napped, got in the pool with them for awhile. Then when I got ready to leave, I packed up my kids and my friend, K's, kids (who were over there for the day) and took them back to their mawmaws and brought Morgan home with me so she could go to K's the next day. When we got home, we fixed supper and then Morgan helped me work on cleaning the garage. We've had some MAJOR progress on that....but then after we did that, I had to throw the kids in the tub b/c they were having a REAL GOOD TIME out in the MUDDY backyard, while we were working....

Tuesday. Yeah, well, this is where words escape me. We had set up that respite for this week starting yesterday evening, they dropped him off at 4:30. There has been one night in this house that was probably one of the worst in my life....that was a few years ago. Last night? Well, it wasn't worse than THAT night, but I'd have to say it would be the second. In the almost two years we have been foster parents and having done respite four or five times in addition to the three that stayed here a couple of months or more.....we have never had to call DSS. But I had to call last night and if I don't hear back from them this morning regarding where to take his stuff, I'm going to call them b/c there is no way we can deal with that for another night. It's crazy, he is only six. I feel terrible for him, but I cannot subject the kids in our house to potential danger. If it were just me and Casey, we would deal with it, b/c he can spit in our faces, bite, kick, or whatever and we would probably be okay, but if he attacked the kids like he attacked us just because we said after the movie was over it would be bedtime.....not to mention the literal fight he gave us when we tried to get him to lay down.....well, they're smaller than he is and I can't risk that. We moved K-man into our room b/c the other kid's kicking and screaming was keeping K-man from going to sleep, plus I was afraid if we left the room and he didn't have us for a target, that he might turn on K-man.

There was more than that, it was unreal. I don't really want to say anything more than that, since this isn't a private blog, all I can say is, Thank God we didn't take him a month ago when they asked us. There is just no way. Generally, the first week or so is a "honeymoon" phase, so they're on their best behavior....then after that, you see how things are really gonna be. Heaven help that poor child (and anyone who has to take care of him) if that was his best behavior. I cried. I felt horrible for him, that he could be so young and already so hateful. You know the whole time, it's just a defense mechanism, but it was just sad. And you'd like to be able to help them, but you don't know what to do. He kept saying we were mean, and we were like....wait a minute, we're not hitting you or spitting on you or even raising our voices or getting excited. Who's being mean here? Just because we told you that we are not going to just let you attack us, and that behavior is not acceptable, does not make us the mean ones.

It was a very difficult night. Not to mention the fact that I didn't sleep very much b/c our two kids were on sleeping bags in our floor, since we had to put them somewhere quiet while the other one was carrying on....they tossed and turned the whole night (very unusual for them) and about every half hour, they'd crawl out of the sleeping bags and be cold, and then I'd have to get up and put them back in so they would go back to sleep. And then around 3, the other kid came into our room and like it was the middle of the day instead night, said (in a completely normal tone of voice), "I want my cover back on me." I was like, uh....okay. SO I went in and covered him back up....which made me paranoid about all THREE of the kids coming uncovered. The next time he woke up, I heard him before he got up and went in there while he was just sitting up and covered him up real quick. I finally caught more than 20 minutes around 4:30 or so and actually fell asleep until 6. I just can't do that again.

We had two other older kids that we kept for the night for some friends so they could go away for a night, but they weren't any trouble at all...matter of fact, I barely noticed they were here. They were excellent.

Anywho, I had to come let out a little steam....I guess steam is the right word....I'm not mad about it, but the stress was making my stomach upset. We need God all the time, but some times it seems like we need a WHOLE lot more of Him. Last night was one of those times. I'm thankful for the support we get from our church family. A brother came over when KC called and helped him pray until they got the kid calmed down to where he finally stopped attacking. Even M was right there for whatever we needed last night. Oh and then him and Z helped me find my phone this morning....we had to actually turn the loveseat recliner over to find the phone. That was an ordeal....I have no idea how my phone got hung up in there.

Gotta run...it's time to feed the kids....the little ones and big ones....and then get the little ones down for a nap so I can take all of them to the library for Munchkin's story time. *grin* Hopefully the rest of the day will go smoother.