Monday Messages and Random Conversations

Dear BioM,
There are public transit services available for people like you. Not to mention, you could always call a taxi. It's pretty lame to delay your last visit with your biological child because you don't have a ride. Now I have to take my time to make an extra trip to bring the munchkin to see you at social services in a couple of days. UGH. And I don't know if you're really going to go through with relinquishing like you say you are, but I can just see you doing it and then changing your mind and it making the process more difficult in the long run. That would just be peachy. Don't get me wrong, I do feel for you, but I see firsthand what your bad choices have put your daughter through, and I have a hard time feeling sorry for you when I'm having to deal with the issues your behavior causes.
The Mommy who is raising your (soon to be ex) child

Dear new shampoo (Loreal something for anyone who cares to know),
I love coupons....especially coupons that enable me to buy a $4 bottle of shampoo and get the $4 bottle of conditioner free. I just hope you live up to your promises. Or else I'm switching back to my previous faithful (although unreasonably expensive -- in my opinion anyways....$6/tube is expensive to me) shampoo (john freida brunette for anyone who cares to know).
The shower fresh girl with the clean, wet hair.

Dear legs,
Walking 2 miles is not, like, extreme. You do not have my permission to complain OR to get sore. Just thought I'd let you know. And to give you fair warning, we do plan to make those little family walking trips to the park down the street fairly frequently as both KC and myself realize that you southern extremities down there as well as several other parts of our bodies are needing to be worked out a little more often. Ya'll are turning into lazy bums and this is going to stop. No complaining.
Your owner

Dear Betty Crocker,
I'm a little mad about the addictiveness of your double chocolate chunk cookies. It's almost worse than Edy's Cookie Dough ice cream. Maybe it IS worse. Especially since those packages of cookie mix are ALWAYS on sale. I think we've gone through about 12 packages of cookie mix in the last 12 weeks....or maybe 10 weeks. My legs want you to know that they blame you for their problems. If only you didn't make them taste so stinkin good. Could you like.....not be on sale next week? Maybe then I won't be tempted. Maybe the sky will fall, too.
Thanks for the extra unneeded calories (in other words, thanks for nothing!)
The lady who was madly stuffing cookie mix packages in her buggy during the last sale

Dear water,
Nothing like a walk in the park to make me appreciate your finer qualities a little more. Two things actually....one being the fact that your existence in the river near some places at the walkway was very slim, some parts of the riverbed being actually dry......and two being that a little exercise makes a cold glass of water much more satisfying than say.....a dr pepper. And that, my dear, clear liquid, is saying A LOT. Please ignore that old mean drought thing and come back in full force very soon, kay? We miss you.
Thirsty lady

Dear cell phone,
Get a grip. Stop dying all the time. If you're not careful, I'm going to trade you in for a better model. One that will hold a charge. This is no empty threat. Consider this your final warning.
Feeling like I'm glued to the charger


RANDOM CONVERSATION EXERPTS:

"les wock an WOLL, mommy" (as we were getting ready to leave for the park to walk tonight. translation: let's rock and roll. guess we must say that a lot, huh?)

"hep mac donals.....mommy me pray for mac donals!" (bedtime prayers....crazy kid)

"nakey woman......nakey woman.......nakey woman.......mommy, see nakey woman?" (while browsing through the sears sale paper and coming across the lingerie page....ROFL....I kept my mouth shut on that one.....so I could keep my laughter contained.)

"me get my teef cween nex???" (while watching in utter fascination as the dentist's assistant painstakingly brushed the green toothpaste on my chompers....munchkin was totally into it)

"you cween my daddy's teef, too??? dat's PUNNY!!!!!" (in response to the DA telling her how she cleaned her daddy's teeth, too!!!)