In Hindsight

Regret is a terrible thing.  Life is short and every so often, that fact slams you right in the face and you wish you’d taken more of the opportunities when they were there instead of waiting until you only WISHED they were there.

My uncle (on mom’s side) passed away over the weekend and although he hasn’t been in good health for many years, it’s never easy to lose someone you love.  He didn’t live close by and it was hard to get away to go down there, but now I wish I’d made the trip a few more times before now.  I wish, I wish, I wish. 

I drove down yesterday morning to be there for the receiving of friends yesterday evening (and yes, it felt like too little, too late, but I needed to make the effort) and then drove back home afterwards so I could be here to take the kids back to school this morning and would only have to find a couple of hours of childcare between after school and KC getting home (by the way, huge thank you to KC’s mom for doing that).  So while I was sitting there in the funeral home last night, I got to listen to my uncle’s brother (who I had never met before) talk…he sounded SO much like my uncle.  It was wonderful and sad at the same time. 

I’ll never forget my uncle…he called everybody “Sug" (like short for Sugar), he “carried us to the store” to get candy when we were kids, he would bring us vegetables from his garden, take us for rides on his tractor, he was famous for his barbeque, I loved listening to him talk to my dad about his jobs pulling wire for the electric company, he loved people, I don’t even remember how many times I heard him talking about “the good Lord above,” he could send a kickball sky high with his fist for us kids to chase…and he did…many times, he loved his diet pepsi and nutty bars, and even though I wasn’t one of his grandkids, he loved me like I was.  I didn’t see him as much as I wanted to, or as much as I should have, but boy, I sure do miss him. 

Makes you stop and think about taking the time to appreciate the ones you still have around. 

My goal is to live life with less regrets…because they stink. 

Another one of those things that is way easier to say than to do.  But anyway, I’m beyond exhausted from everything over the last couple of days, and I feel really foggy and maybe this doesn’t make any sense (which is normal, no matter how tired or rested I am), but it’s what I’ve had on my mind over the last couple of days.  And I’m going to end it here and put myself out of this fog and into the bed…may not solve anything, but it might improve it.  =/  Night.