So is confession really good for the soul?

Sheesh. I have a killer headache about now. Just got done with choir practice.

You know…I knew this would happen. I wish there was some way I could blog while driving home from work b/c that’s when I always have the most interesting things running through my head….I knew. I just KNEW. That I’d get to a place where I could start blogging and not be able to remember clearly what was going through my head earlier. I mean, I sorta remember, but it’s like a “vague” remembering, not like a “oh, I can just type it all out clearly” kind of remembering. *grin* Oh well. *sigh*

I’m just thinking there has got to be some way to rig my computer up next to the driver’s seat so I can type while driving. Hey, I can do a lot of things while driving…you have no idea. Teeheehe. I have a really long drive home from work. For awhile I was reading books on the way home. And I’m not talking the books that you stick in the cassette player and listen to, I’m talking 200 page novels. I’m a speed reader….it was easy for me to watch the road and then glance down and grab a couple lines…back to the road, back to the book…..granted, it took me a little longer to get through a chapter than normal, but it at least took the boredom out of the drive. Anyways, mom found out about my habit. So I promised her I’d quit doing that. You have no idea how many times I’d be driving home and look over at the pile of books I’d just gotten from the library and actually reach out to get one and then remind myself: no, you PROMISED. *grin* That about kills me. I started putting the books in the back to distance myself from the temptation. Of course now that my coworker rides back and forth with me, I can’t really get away with it anyways. So now, while driving, I compose blog entries in my head to totally forget when it comes time to blog.

Ya know, while I’m confessing here, can I just confess that I drive myself crazy? I think that’s why it amazes me when people seem to like me. I always wonder if they’ll still like me when they really get to know me, because there is a lot of times when “I” don’t like me. The biggest issue of my frustration has only bothered me since…well, for about a year and a half or so. To say that I’m big on technicalities or that I over analyze everything is a major understatement. I can’t seem to find my way between the black and white. It’s like I lived in the gray area for so long that I lost my grip on black and white. So now little things (like telling someone that you like the color of their shirt and tactfully keeping the fact that you can’t stand the style to yourself might actually be lying b/c you’re omitting truth) bother me….see what I mean about technicalities? Where is the line between lying by omission/leaving out part of the truth and not telling everything you know….get what I’m saying? And that’s just an easy example! I’m a total over-analyzer….how do you make yourself quit doing that? *sigh* Besides all that, then there’s all the times I open my mouth and stick my foot in it….and realize that fact later and THEN feel bad and have to turn around and try to fix it. And feel really stupid doing so. And you’d think I’d learn….but it seems like I forget it ever happened until after I’ve done it again….

And that’s just with the little stuff. Forget the big stuff. What’s really bad is when I can’t make sense of things….I’m a person who doesn’t need to “know” everything in order to believe or to live my life, but I do like for things to be generally sensible or reasonable. For example, to say that it’s okay to do one thing but a very similar thing is wrong to do….doesn’t really make sense to me. I won’t say much about it b/c I don’t want to wrongly influence anyone, but some things just don’t make horse sense. *sigh*

Do you think I might be crazy? Well, at the very least, I’d say that the word “normal” will probably never be a word that describes me. The good thing is, except for the times when I’m driving myself crazy, I’m usually happy being “me.” Only IS that really a good thing since I’m usually driving myself crazy? Bwahaha.

Work today was quiet. Lot of things go through my head as I say that, but nothing I want to say on here (so does that mean I’m not telling the full truth?…..ARGH!). No, I’m not going there again. As I was saying, work today was quiet. LOL.

The weather today was be-U-tiful!! It was so flip-flop weather. Mom and I walked around our building for about 15 minutes instead of walking inside around the gym like we usually do (when we get to walk). It was almost on the “eek, turn on the air” side of warm, but oh, I loved it. Well, except for the fact that I didn’t bring my walking shoes and I wasn’t about to miss the opportunity to enjoy the gorgeous weather simply because I had fashionable (vs. wearable) shoes. So I walked about 8 minutes in flip-flops before they ripped a hole in the skin on top of my foot, then took them off and walked the rest of the 8 or so minutes barefoot. Which was great until the heat from the pavement started getting to me. My feet were sore for the rest of the day.. But it was SO worth it!! Did I mention that it was like 72 degrees and sunny….and there was a comfortable breeze….yeah, baby. Tomorrow I’m taking my walking shoes. (and it will probably rain…hahah….ever the optimistic one)

Speaking of positive vs. negative. I was talking to Blondie next door to me today….discussing some work situations and she made a statement followed by “I hate to be negative.”

But you know….(and you should write this down….this is my great wisdom for the day):

Sometimes, no matter how much you’d like to be positive, SOMETIMES, the only way to be truthful is to be negative.
I’m sorry if telling the truth sometimes makes me a “negative” person, but that’s just how it’s gonna have to be! I do my best to put as much of a positive outlook on all the negative things that happen….but there comes a time when…the glass isn’t half-full or even a fourth full….it’s EMPTY, okay? Just ask the band on the Titanic. (LOL)

I’ll try to be in a better mood tomorrow. =)

In the meantime, how bout if I share a couple of pictures from yesterday's photo attempts.... BWAHAHAHA! And hopefully, it won't be too long before I can get this month's 12-12 scrapped, boring as it was.....

Eheheheh....

This is how I look driving home....zoned out. LOL

Then there's the wild hair, goofy faced me.....

And this is the "me" that is stuck behind slow traffic. Don't ask how I can prop my head on my hand and take a picture of myself.....while driving. I told you I can do a lot of things while driving. Hehehe.

Later!