I am so aggravated at the little...ahem....terrors.....who are at this moment BOTH fighting bedtime.
One of those little terrors (the one who is talking somewhat coherent "human" these days--as opposed to the one who speaks mainly "monkey") told her speech therapist today all kind of tales, just out of the blue. The therapist called me and was quite amused. Ya know how ya never know what they will come up with next (like in the last post)....well....the story that the therapist got was that munchkin's daddy rubbed (or whupped....i'm not sure which was actually said) mommy's....ahem....rear. Not only that, but munchkin's...ahem....rear....hurt today b/c mommy rubbed it with hot stuff last night. WHAAAAAA????? Where do they come UP with this stuff? I let the social worker know just in case anything came up, and she didn't sound concerned about it at all (which was a relief) but we are going to put her back in play therapy for a little while again and we've had some long conversations tonight about telling stories and making up lies. I don't know what is up with her these days. Also tonight, she came out of the bathroom and said she had washed her hands and something in the way she said it made me hesitate and check her hands (which is something I never do) and they were completely dry, so I walked her back to the sink, which was also totally dry and I pointed those two facts out to her and explained to her that her story could not possibly be true and asked her why she lied about it. She said, I'm sorry, mommy. It's okay. I'm washing them now. I was like, hello, that's NOT the point. The point is, you told me a lie about it. "That's okay," she says, with a calmness that infuriates the fire out of me. UGHHHHHH.
She was doing wonderful about bedtime since sometime in December, she would read for about half an hour, and then put away the book and go to sleep without having to fight with her about it. Well, the last couple of weeks, she has not put down the books until like 11 or 11:30 and I kinda let it go b/c I didn't want to fight about it, but she's looking awful and has terribly tired eyes, so I have started going in to make sure she puts the book away earlier, and also started putting her to bed earlier so that she can still have time to read before sleep. Well, she's made it a huge fight and every night so far, the book will go away and then she'll climb around the bed and play with her animals and blabber to herself until 11 or 11:30 and I have to keep going in there and telling her to go to sleep. So tonight I turned the bright nightlights off and just left one little dim one on in there to discourage playtime. I gave her plenty of warning that it was going to happen if she didn't go to sleep and she didn't listen. So I did it and she screamed and pitched a fit and everything else....it's now 10 and she's been in bed since 8:30. But at least she's now quiet. I am SO aggravated with her. Is this considered regression when they've made serious improvements and then gone back to the rebellious hateful behaviors??? I wonder if this has anything to do with the whole "other mommy" thing that has also been popping up in the last few weeks.
UGH. UGH. UGH.
And then K-man has been whiny and not wanting to go to sleep tonight, too. And he's usually my good sleeper. I think it's a conspiracy to drive me over the edge. Don't tell them, but I think it's working. EEEEEK. LOL.
So, I have a burning question for any of you experienced "mommies" who read this blog....
Is it a "must" to make a child aware of what the consequence for misbehavior will be before the misbehavior occurs or before you enforce the consequence? In other words, to say that you can't take away a privilege or give a consequence without letting them know ahead of time what the result will be if the behavior continues.
Child knows that XXXX behavior is prohibited. Does the behavior anyways. Do you:
A) Remove a favorite toy or tell them that the behavior they just performed cost them the treat they were going to get later or other terrible consequence and then proceed to move on without any further attention to the misbehavior or the fit they're now throwing (other than to provide more consequences if the fit results in more misbehavior) or
B) Let them know what the consequence will be if the behavior is performed again even though they are already aware that the behavior is not allowed and then wait until they perform the misbehavior again (and they will) before socking them with the consequence that you've told them will be coming OR
C) something completely different (in which case, I must ask you to please explain....LOL)
This is a hot topic in our household. I won't tell you which category I fall in (A or B) but I will tell you this, my momma didn't warn me of what the consequence would be when I did something I wasn't supposed to be doing and knew it. If I did it, I got the consequences. That's what I knew. And I didn't have to do it twice to get the consequences. And sometimes I wonder if they don't do things just to see what kind of consequence we'll come up with...I'm telling you, it's a conspiracy. LOL. And you could probably figure out, from everything I just said, which party I am in agreement with on that. LOL!
So come on. Give me some feedback....