And I don't mean that in the "Tough Love" sense....I mean in the sense that "loving" is hard work and I have SO far to go.
I read this devotion over at Proverbs 31 Ministries a few days ago (actually it was the devotion on March 5th) and it has been percolating in my brain ever since.
It was on the love chapter in Corinthians:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
This was the part that got me:
Here’s an idea to help to flesh this out in real life. Make a copy of the love chapter on your computer. However, wherever the word love is used (or its pronoun ‘it’) leave a blank. Then try over the next week or so to be able to write your name in the blank when you have a chance to exhibit this quality in real life. Were you patient at the doctor’s office today and, instead of grumbling while sitting in the waiting room, you quietly thanked God for the extra time and then used it to pray for others? Write your name on the “________ is patient” line. Did you and another family member get into a heated discussion and you were tempted to bring up a wrong from the past but, with great restraint, held your tongue? Bravo! Write your name on the “________ keeps no record of wrongs” line. Were you kind to the grumpy cashier instead of being rude right back? Get out that pen and write away!
Not that it's done me much good, since it still seems to be a major undertaking that I just can't quite get ahold of....and I seriously hesitated to even talk about it on here, because somehow, saying it out loud means I'm accountable to more than just meself about it. LOL. Anywho. I decided to write it down anyways.
“______ is patient, _______ is kind. _____ does not envy, ______ does not boast, _____ is not proud. ______ is not rude, ______ is not self-seeking, ______ is not easily angered, ______ keeps no record of wrongs. ______ does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. _____ always protects, ______ always trusts, ______ always hopes, ______ always perseveres. _____ never fails.”
Unfortunately, my name doesn't fit in any of those for today. Well, maybe the "does not envy" and "is not proud"....but I'm pretty sure that would only be because I don't recall my love being tested in either of those areas today. *sigh*
No, today I was definitely impatient and easily angered....oh and I also poked one of those infuriating statements that KC has used on me, back at him today, when I was aggravated with him. I'm pretty sure that would fall in the "keeping record of wrongs" category with a big fat red F.
Overall, the "never fails" that sums up that verse, just doesn't fit me very well. That in itself, is enough to make me cranky. Why is it that I have such a hard time with these things? As much as I'd like to make an excuse, "being human" is all I can come up with and it's pretty flimsy at best.
Strangely enough, I seem to be in the same boat as the author of that devotion when she said on her personal blog:
"I can hold it together when the dry cleaners ruins my new sweater, someone cuts me off in traffic, or a friend goofs up my latte order. But if my husband or one of the darlin’ little dependents does something that ruffles my feathers—watch out!!"
That's so true...I get ruffled faster with the people inside my home than I do with the girl at the drive thru who was rude and messed up my order or the guy who pulled out in front of me when I was already running late. Why?
Anyways, those are just some thoughts. I'll just have to admit, I've failed the first week and the whole idea was just in my head...now that I've said it out loud, maybe I'll pass the tests next week.
I'll let ya know how it goes.
Oh, and anyone who cares to join me in this challenge, please let me know....I'd love some company on my quest to be more loving. =)