Adulting Angst

angst

/äNG(k)st/

noun

a feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.

…

Really I just wanted to use this word today. LOL.

HOWEVER….

I feel like it might be a fitting word for my life right now….the overwhelming-ness of life is getting under my skin.

Life is good. I’m not complaining. But I would positively love it if the to-do list would stop multiplying and burying me in self-imposed guilt when I can’t get everything done.

Grr.

Adulting stinks.

Moving Adventures

Yeah, we're moving again. Lol! We just don't seem capable of staying in one place. We've technically been in the process of moving for like six months but I've been so busy,  I haven't really had the energy to talk about it. 

Anyway, today we're in the moving truck (second trip/last load, praise Jesus) and I've got 4 hours on this leg of the trip so hello blog world. 😂 

Home base is now Ohio, and we are in a 26ft massive truck, so we are breaking up the trip into bite sized pieces. 4 hours last night, 8 total today, pausing in the middle to visit our NC family, then another 8.5 on Monday. 

Last night was ROUGH. But that's the kinda night that makes great memories to laugh about later. I wasn't laughing in the moment because I had just finished sprinting a quarter of a mile, after working all day to load the truck, after only getting about 2 hours of sleep the night before because we stayed up loading the truck til 2 am, plus having a massive headache from extreme exhaustion. Yeah, I was just trying to keep my head from exploding and catch my breath in that moment. But now I'm laughing. 

So let me just summarize yesterday: 2 hours of sleep, up at the crack of dawn, finishing the last bits of packing (the annoying things like bubble wrapping pictures and cleaning out the random left behind stuff), loading the spare bed we had been using and the rest of the boxes, 9 am appt at the dealership to sell KC's baby (bye sweet F-150 that was our longest owned vehicle 😢), 11 am bank and tag office to finish the transation, chick-fil-a food (praise break again lol), back to the house to keep loading (snap, we forgot the stuff on the rack above the garage door), 2-3:30 pm signing at the lawyer's office for next weekend's closing, back to the house to clean up and shower, quick bite to eat, and off to return rental car so we can hit the road in the moving truck. 

Whew...are you tired yet? I was! At this point, I'm at like 18000 steps. This is where it got a little interesting. Now I'm dropping the rental car at the airport, but we weren't sure what kind of clearance was available at the airport for KC to pick me up. So we determine that he will wait for me at the hotel just outside the airport and I will walk out of the airport to meet him. It's probably a half mile...in the dark. I'm speed walking, there's a sidewalk, a little bit of lighting, but I'm feeling kinda rough from lack of sleep, severe headache, sore feet, achy back, you know I'm thinking sheesh...it didnt seem this far in the car! 

So I'm walking...finally I see the big yellow truck way down there at the end of the sidewalk. Then....

Rut-Roh. 

Blue lights across the intersection just flipped on and pulled across the street. 

No no no....ain't nobody got time for that.

And I immediately take off. Full out sprint. I have not ran that fast since childhood. 

Please see me coming, please, oh please see me, he's just my ride, we have only good intentions!! Don't make him leave or give him a ticket! I'm so close! 

At this point I'm still at least thirty feet away and the cop is pulling away slowly. 

KC sees me, and hasn't started moving yet.

I, for 2 seconds, think it's ok, then I hear the cop yelling back at him..."I SAID, MOVE!....MOVE!!!!!!!!" 

NOOOOO! 

So KC starts to pull away. I gun it! Adrenalin super kick. That moment where you suddenly become superhuman! 

Thankfully the truck is so heavy and slow that it takes a solid minute to go from zero to 55, so it wasnt going too fast as I reached it, grabbed the handle, yanked open the door,  and scurried up the ladder into the truck as he rolled away. 

Sheesh!!! 

Thought I might die. My head, my heart, couldn't breathe. 

Might sign up to be a stunt woman next. NOT! 😂😂😂

The good news is that we didn't get a ticket, only a lecture about blocking traffic (in a not busy little side road...really?!) And a yell. And mild heart failure, but I caught my ride.  😂😂 

The next four hours were miserable and we gave up the idea of driving all night so today we're paying for that with all the traffic delays, but at least we're a little rested, showered, and breakfasted (Thank you, Hampton Inn). 

So here we are. My awesome hubby doing a great job over there and me being the chief navigator, radio operator, snack handler, and selfie taker. 

LoL 

Good times! 

Next stop North Carolina...well...maybe a bathroom break first. 

If we ever get there...currently we are on I-26 following about a hundred cars behind some kind of escorted envoy that is taking up both lanes and no one can go around. And max speed is around 45...but at least we're moving...and this truck barely moves faster than that anyway 😂😂😂

Just A Test

Does this thing still work? Well, yes. Amazingly enough. If only all tests were this easy!

So I don’t blog much anymore (obviously), and as I came back for this quick and easy little test, I looked around my dear blog for a few minutes and realized I’m not the only one who doesn’t blog much anymore. Only a few of my “blogs I read” are kept updated, although the ones that have been updated are enough to inspire me to continue, since as I clicked through and read a few minutes, I remembered how much I loved blogs and blogging.

HOWEVER. <—that’s a big however! There’s a lot of stuff that is killing the wonderful creature that is blogging. When you post life updates to facebook and instagram, then jot down all your innermost feelings in a bullet journal, and everything you could ever want to know is already on pinterest or in podcasts, on top of being so busy in real life that you barely get any of those things squeezed into it…it’s hard to find time to do it or topics that haven’t already been covered. For the record, that kills the mojo.

Anyway. Test Passed. Something Posted. Now we’ll just see if I can do it again next time I get a minute. LOL. That might be the truer test. =)

Remembering Wally

I got really sad news this past week. One of my favorite co-worker/friends moved on from this world to the next. Time and distance somewhat hindered that friendship the last few years, but we stayed in occasional contact through Facebook. I tried to get with him in person last year when I was in town, but our schedules never worked out, and I was going to try again this summer when I came up. I had no idea his health had gotten so bad that I wouldn’t have another chance, and that breaks my heart, even though I know he’s much better off. Another mutual friend posted, “now he has all the answers.” I’m truly happy for Wally (his nickname on this blog), that he’s got the ultimate healing, but so sad that he’s not just a phone call away anymore.

So, since he was one of my biggest encouragers to start this blog (and to keep it going), I thought I would post one more in his memory.

I keep starting and deleting paragraphs. This is really hard. I’m not great with words, and I’m horrible with feelings. Everything I start to write, I hear Wally saying, stop that and just remember the laughter. And boy howdy, did we ever laugh. He made tough workdays bearable just by making me laugh. It wasn’t part of my original job to help him in Studio B, but when he lost one of his assistants to budget cuts, I gladly picked up the slack. Those ended up being some of my favorite memories of working with Wally. He would talk about what I said on my blog, we would chat about microphones (he had some cool ones!), he would tell me stories from his California days, he talked about his family and asked about mine, and just random conversations while we worked on getting the studio set up for his sessions. He showed me how to set up the microphones, where to put the wires…every setup was a little different, but he eventually got me trained…through a lot of laughter when I got it wrong. The gaffe tape especially…I would try to get the gaffe tape over the wires just right…he was very particular about that, but he NEVER got mad, just laughingly ragged me and made me redo it…again and again…lol…I was so happy when I finally learned the way he wanted it and would get it right on the first try.

He would tell you exactly how it was, and he pulled no punches, but when you were his friend, you knew he had your back. He loved God, he loved his family, and he loved his friends. It was my honor and utter privilege to have been one of the latter.

In conclusion, I’ve never been more grateful that he pushed me to keep blogging, because I was able today to go back through and pull out a few specific mentions of him that brought back memories I had forgotten. So I will close with these blog post bits.

Thats about all the interesting news I have for the day. I only got hit on by Wally today....and he only did that b/c he was making fun of me for that last blog entry....and b/c it bugs me. LOL....and he was actually literally punching me in the shoulder. Like I said, he was laughing at me and poking fun. Isn't that sweet? LOL...I guess I can take it from him....but he's only one of the select few allowed to poke fun. *grin* Shhhh...don't tell him. LOL. (August 16, 2006)

I had a duh moment today. (act surprised, will ya?) I got to work and Wally mentioned to me that the Flickr account that I've been using for my blog pics is linked to my main yahoo mail, not my blog yahoo mail....the main yahoo mail has my name on it. Ooops. I've created a flickr under my blog yahoo now, so all I have to do is go back and figure out which ones are where in my blog and re-upload them all under the new name. URGH. What a pain. I can't believe I missed that. (February 15, 2007)

…And Wally.....who asked if the foot in my mouth was the one with the ingrown toenail......
Pause for a moment while I laugh out loud......
Okay.....anyways, Wally.....I think I'll have to draw the line on answering that question. Ya know....I wouldn't want to give TOO much information out on here. ROFL!!! There are some things that should just remain a secret forever. Like whether or not I've got an ingrown toenail on the foot that was in my mouth. LOL. (June 4, 2007)

What do you hope to achieve or accomplish with your blog? Have you been successful? If not, do you have a plan to achieve those goals?
Um, it started out as just a place to have an outlet for my thoughts and random details of my life, and it's still that, but now, one of my biggest kicks is making Wally laugh at whatever I'm blogging about at the time (hahah). And since both of those things seem to happen fairly often, then, yes, I guess that means I have been successful. =) (June 11, 2007 

…If it ain't one thing, it's half a zillion others. *sigh*
Wally asked me the other day if I had a "hot key" for that *sigh* thing. No, I sure don't, but I use it so often, it would save me at least 50 keystrokes per blog entry if I did. End of sentence. Press F7. Write another paragraph, insert F7. (December 7, 2007)

After leaving the bluegrass music this evening, sitting in the car while Daddy's pumping gas:
(a little history is that "Uncle Wally," which is what munchkin calls a guy I used to work with that I was talking to at the festival, was kidding around with the munchkin after I told him we were heading off to take our hot and grumpy kids to the air conditioned grocery store to pick up some much needed groceries and tells her, "Okay, I need toilet paper and laundry powder.....oh and FROSTED Flakes, too. Did you get all that?" Of course, she giggled, so I thought she caught on to the fact that he was kidding.....LOL.....okay so back to the car scene:)
Munchkin: "Mom, don't forget, when we get to the store, Unca Waw-we needs to'wet paper and.....um....what else?"
Mommy: "Frosted Flakes."
Munchkin: "YEAH. Fwosted Fwakes and.....um....what else?"
Mommy (laughing): "Honey, Uncle Wally was just playing with you. He doesn't really want you to get all those things for him."
Munchkin: "Nuh UH, he needs to-wet paper!!"
Mommy: "I'm sure if he needs it, he'll get it the next time he goes to the grocery store."
Munchkin (insistently): "No, he needs it NOW!"
(July 3, 2008)

Randomosity….Or as my friend, Wally says: “because you just NEVER know!”  (LOL) (December 19, 2010)

In recent years, I haven’t blogged as much, hence the lack of recent mentions, but here’s his photo of us (altered his name to what he went by on my blog) and his last birthday wish to me on Facebook that I somehow missed last year =(, (although we’ve talked since then, I only just saw this when I went looking for this picture):

Faith.Wife.Mom.Photographer.Artist.House Painter.Dog Wrangler.Child of God.One Funny Lady.My buddy.Today is Mizz Faith's Birthday. She is sumpin' else. I bet she is at the beach with those two beast she calls dogs. God Bless you and all in your life.

Farewell, my friend, until we meet again.

It's About Time

Well, it only took three years, but I finally updated the aesthetics of the dear neglected blog. For future reference, here are the before and after images, since they’re not that much different.

This time I got smart. I planned ahead for my problem of staying current. Now it’s the year dash question mark. That means the next time I get around to updating it, it might only be KC and me on there…but who knows…except the question mark makes it all okay! LOL!

Well, now that this is done, it’s time to get back to blogging again. I have so many thoughts running through my head, but most of them won’t make any sense without a little backstory since I’ve been so absent from the blog over the last few years.

I’m not sure how far to go back, since I don’t remember where we were when I lost track of blogging, but I guess I’ll just go with 2018.

We sold our NC house at the end of 2017 (it was like our favorite house ever…*sigh*), and moved to FL for KC’s job in January of 2018. We lived in a rental for 3 months (holy cow is it ever hard to transfer addresses twice in less than a year…I’m still trying to get all of the mail switched over). Anyway, we hated renting just like I knew we would, because we HAVE to be able to paint! LOL. All beige walls with patches showing from previous renters was totally KILLING us. Yeah, it’s a first world problem. I shouldn’t complain. But I was still really happy when we were able to move into our own place and start painting. Haha. I’m a professional at this point.

So that was March. Then we had a ton of visitors from back home (which was AWESOME, because living in a new town without all your old friends is pretty sad). Going to the beach and pool while all your old friends are still wearing hats and scarves is fun and all, but it sure doesn’t make up for all the missing them! =)

Summer was busy, the TDQ turned 14, the K-man turned 13, and just like that, we don’t have any kids in the house anymore. Just loads and loads of hormones. And also, they don’t want me talking about any of it anymore, because it’s so embarrassing, which is another reason it has gotten harder to blog. Teenage kids just don’t do the cute things little kids do, and even if they pull off something cute, they (or their friends at school) can pull it up on the internet and read it and be mad at you for ruining their life! So yeah, at least 60% of the things I like to talk, vent, brag about are gone…just like that.

Total rabbit trail, I did ponder for a few moments last week if I should delete all photos from my blog history, after finding out that the TDQ has someone with stalkerish behaviors that somehow found my blog and sent pictures from here to other kids at her school. Obviously, I’ve never posted anything bad, but I *THINK* I’ve addressed the problem and it shouldn’t happen again. Either way though, I decided to leave the pics alone and just hope that legal action doesn’t ever become necessary. Seriously, the things you never think would become necessary to think about!

Where was I? Oh yes, school! So the TDQ started at a private charter school which has been AWESOME for her! The K-man started back at Classical Conversations again, but about 3 weeks into it, I realized we had reached the end of the point where homeschool was beneficial for him, too. Sadly, we were too late to get him into the same private charter school as TDQ (well, the middle school version of it anyway), but we joined the waiting list and continued homeschooling.

October and November were total blurs on the calendar…I have it all written in my bullet journal (of which I am still totally HOOKED) but that would be the only way I could remember what all happened those months. We were just busy! Thanksgiving, KC and I took an early anniversary cruise while a friend from back in NC flew in to stay with the kids for Thanksgiving. That was awesome on so many levels. Our kids will want a friends-giving every year now. Haha.

December was another insane month! Our family was all over the place at all different times that month…that’s another unexpected side effect of having teenagers. They can sometimes travel without you now, so you have to manage four individual schedules instead of them always being part of yours. Anyway, we had Christmas Eve in Ohio with KC’s family, and Christmas Day in NC with my family. I wish we had had more time in both places so we could have seen ALL the peoples we miss, but time was too short to catch everyone. Hopefully we can catch more in the next trip north, but that will be awhile yet.

Anywho, so now, January! We finally got a call from the private charter middle school, and K-man is finishing out the year there! Hallelujah! I’ve already seen a huge difference! He just needed more of a challenge and something to occupy more of his time. And although he was incredibly nervous the first week, he is doing AWESOME. Hopefully he won’t kill me for saying this much. LOL. He is way more easily embarrassed than the TDQ. I try to be understanding although I’m not sure he appreciates my herculean efforts! LOL!

There it is. Update complete. I’ve now burned an entire morning and the laundry still isn’t finished.
Till next time! =)