Monday, August 06, 2007

Monday Messages #2

Dear Index Fingernail on my Right Hand,
OW! What is UP with you? I need you to work properly. Now I know it is not commonly thought that fingernails have a job to do, but this pain you are causing in my poor index finger every time I try to use an ink pen or type is really irritating. Just because a piece or two of paper might have jammed up underneath you a couple of times does not give you an excuse to cause trouble. Your job is to look pretty (another task that you seem to have lots of trouble accomplishing) and not being painful. Thank you very much. Oh and by the way, turning red and throbbing is also NOT in your job description.
Love (not),
Painfully Irritated

Dear Kid's Bedrooms,
OOOH. You are driving me crazy. Why am I so distressed over the state of disorderliness in you when it doesn't bother me that mine looks nearly that bad itself. Please explain this, I really want to know.
the adult who winces when she passes your door

Dear Private Blog,
Please excuse my lack of private thoughts lately. I find myself scarcely able to keep up with my public blog on a regular basis since bouncer came along, but I promise one of these days I'll get back to having private thoughts. *tired smile* In the meantime, please forgive me that I find it easier to just post thoughts here that probably *should* be posted on you.
too busy to think

Dear CK Convention,
I love you. You are one of the highlights of my year. You totally lifted me out of the scrapping funk I've been in for the last few months. I hope to blog very soon about the day I spent with you on Saturday. And post pictures, too....I had a lovely time. See you next year, Lord willing!
In the mood to scrapbook again

Dear hubby,
You SO rock! Man, I love you! And really, this isn't because you gave your full approval for me to leave for a full day on Saturday.....and not only that, but to spend money if I wanted (although I know I don't necessarily need your approval, it does feel good to have your blessing beforehand). On top of all that, you entertained the bouncer almost all day, and got all kinds of yardwork done, and took bouncer shopping for noisy, irritating laser guns with his birthday money....then when I got home, you weren't mad about me continuing scrapping with "Nik-ni" and topped it all off with ordering pizza for supper so I wouldn't have to cook. I am so lucky. You totally made my day! I love you honey!

Dear people on the road to work this morning,
No, I wasn't drunk. I was sleeping. Er. Slee-PY. Not sleeping. Not exactly. And no, I wasn't having seizures when you saw me wildly throwing my arms around and jerking my shoulders....I was trying to get the blood flowing up to my eyelids so they would not keep falling shut on me. I hope I didn't scare anyone too badly. *yawn*

Dear munchkin,
You absolutely cracked me up last night at church. I will have to make a separate post about this very soon. However, I just wanted to let you know that "Map" is too old for you and you SO need to stop flirting with him. And watching him adoringly all service long? *LOL* And I'm sorry, but the answer to your question is, "No, I'm not going to ask 'Map' to come home with you tonight." But the really funny stuff about the ladies footwashing service afterwards I'll have to save for a new post. You are just hysterical. And I do want you to know that you made it very difficult for me to not bust out laughing in a very serious and emotional time for so many of those ladies.

Dear "Nonna"
Munchkin loved having you keep her on Saturday. Not nearly as much as I loved you keeping her though. Also not nearly as much as I loved having a "ME" day. But that was quite a huge lot, so I think you can safely say that you were a smashing success in the munchkin's book.
Your daughter
PS If you ever find any more of those monkey puppets, I want one.... ;-)

Dear bed,
I'm so very sorry that we haven't been able to spend much time together lately. I'm especially sorry that our quality morning time has been cut so short since the kidlets came along...unfortunately they are higher on my priority list than you are. I hope you're not offended. You seem to be making it really hard for me to get out of you in the mornings lately. You've been extra comfortable and warm the last couple of days and I just want you to know that I love you and all, but could you just lay off just a bit on that? I find myself thinking about you during the day and that that's not real good, as I'm sure you can imagine. Are you doing this on purpose to pay me back for my neglect of you? Maybe you'd feel better if I would straighten up your covers in the morning before disappearing for the day?? It's not much to make up for my....I mean YOUR....suffering, but I suppose I might could take a few minutes to do that for you. Anyways, I'll try to get together with you tonight before midnight.
As always,
Your Sleep-deprived Slave---ER.....that is.....MASTER...yeah. Master.

Dear Hectic Life,
Yes. It's me again. Do you know how crazy you are making me? I am just falling apart! I find myself forced to apologize for not getting something done or missing something or forgetting dates or just letting someone down...much too often recently. Why are you doing this to me? Will you please just lay off for a little bit?? I'd like to get some things taken care of so that I won't feel constantly behind. Don't know that you care how I'm feeling, but just thought I'd let ya know. Kay? Thanks.
Still trying to catch up

Dear vacation,
Is it almost time for us to come see you yet? No? Okay. . . . . . . . . How bout now?.....still no? bummer. Okay. Well, I'll be waiting anxiously!

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