Friday, March 02, 2007

Friday Funny

How to be Annoying

*DISCLAIMER* I am not recommending or promoting the use of any of these actions, nor do I participate in any of these annoying procedures (well, not many anyways). I am simply posting them for the humor factor. If you don't have a sense of humor, you can stop reading right about......NOW! (LOL.)

Adjust the tint on your screens so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

Drum on every available surface.

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.

Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Set alarms for random times.

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

Honk and wave to strangers.

Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. ugh....i hate channel surfing in the middle of shows....grrr...i know people who do this....LOL. no names.

Wear your pants backwards.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"


only type in lowercase. dont use any punctuation either

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

Pay for your dinner with pennies.

Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question. Repeat everything someone says as a question? ROFL!

Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Light road flares on a birthday cake.

Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. that might get person killed, but it's a funny thought. hehehe

When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.

Name your dog "Dog".

Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. sometimes I wish they DID (only exist in my imagination that is....Hehehe)

Ask people what gender they are.

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot". oops...i've done that....I have an AWFUL memory! LOL

Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book.

Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

Ask to "interface" with someone.

Sing along at the opera.

Mow your lawn with scissors. Methinks this would be annoying to YOURSELF

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".

Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."

Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. imagine that

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

Make appointments for the 31st of September.

Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
So what are you waiting for....get copying!! LOL....just kidding!

(list courtesy of

Happy Friday everyone! Don't forget to smile!

1 comment:

  1. Oh... I'm printing this off. Need to do many of these purely for entertainment value!


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